Incredibly Normal

A Year Later...a retrospective and new hope

2008-08-06T09:36:00.003-04:00

The last post I made was in relation to Jack's 2nd Birthday. As Jack would say, " I was disappeared" from blog land after that. As many of you know my Aunt Jane died in December 2007 after battling with colon cancer. Jack had chronic ear infections for about 6 months following that final blog as well ending in our decision to place tubes in his ears. Further, Susie has had some health issues which she is dealing with to boot.

However, one year later is finally here and I'm ready to climb out of my cave once again.

The boy is ready to turn 3 and both Susie and I are lamenting having to say goodbye to the 2's. While the year was horrible in sooooo many ways there were so many great things about Jack being 2 that I'll miss:

1. The boy is funny...but he thinks I'm the funniest person in the world. When I ask him, "who's the funniest person you know?" He says, "you dad". What's better than that and I truly didn't train him to say this...except for my look of joy that rewards him for his target response. Needless to say I ask him every 15 minutes or so. I'm sure this won't last much longer as he's bound to realize I'm only funny to 2 year olds.

2. Unbridaled singing and dancing...there is still very little self consciousness at 2 yielding incredible displays of talent(?) most of which is displayed in the buff.

3. Pride in using the potty...I love that this brings us all so much joy. "I'm going poopy dad". "Okay Jack". "I did it dad, I made a turtle." "That's great Jack". "Come in and see it dad it's a funny U one". "Okay". "Isn't it great". "I love it". "Thank you daddy".

4. "Chipmunk" obsession...this is Jack's chimpanzee doll that was Susie's back in the 70's. Jack named it "Chipmunk", confusing the word chimpanzee as he'd just turned two. This little doll travels the earth with us. In fact it is sitting in my car awaiting our pick up of Jack at 2:30pm from school. Chipmunk hides from Jack every night before bed only to be found by Jack in hysterical laughter. Only after Chipmunk begs to stay with Jack in the crib "all night", Jack agrees and sleep may commence. Aside: Puppy is still around too...he's the Wooby/security blanket from the early days.

5. Playing in stores like they're playgrounds with no expectation of buying something...this one is on it's way out already. "Can we take this truck home dad". "No, not today". "Why dad?" "It's not ours, we have to play with it here today until we have enough money". "Oh." He's yet to start the, "But I want it", or "it's only a dollar", or "you have money".

6. The Beastie Boy obsession...fun with a two year old. Dangerous with a 3 year old...he knows what they're saying now so I think we have to stop this. We've already let it go too far most likely. He's probably telling his teachers about sabotage and his right to party.

7. Nanalan and Yo Gabba Gabba...just had to give these two shows a shout out. I'm hoping he stays interested in these for awhile as they are quite the delight. Those Canadians sure can make a kids show.

And so on...

The thing I'll miss the most though is the smallness...he's starting to get big and already has passed baby stage. Soon he'll be a "Big Kid". Trying to enjoy him now.

I'll skip the bad things like the hitting and kicking me episode we had this morning when he didn't want to get dressed. I became Super Nanny Man and put him in timeout of course. The temper comes in waves...2 weeks gone...1 week back...1 month gone...2 months back...and so forth. Hopefully we can work a year in there temper free...there's always HOPE!

Birthday Cometh

2007-09-10T11:28:00.000-04:00

I can't believe my kid is actually about to turn two. While I can't remember being two, I do have some vague memories of three. This means we are only one year from Jack having the ability to remember stuff we screw up on as parents. To date, it simply left a mark on his personality but soon he can actually start to remember and blame us for his problems for the rest of his life.

Can't wait to sit on the beach this weekend and celebrate my Boog!

Planned to blog longer but hand still broken. Typing hard. Bye bye.

"Hello again, hello" (Neil Diamond)

2007-09-04T14:43:00.000-04:00

Not that anyone probably checks this thing anymore but here's why I haven't been blogging in 2 months:
June & July

Ran summer camp for 9 boys for 2 months.

Jack got sick.

Road trip to Miami.

July

Visited Dee in hospital in NC drove up and back with screaming almost 2 year old.

Mother-in-law died (a great, great woman and a tragic, quick ending to her life)...think of her everyday still and I didn't even know her that well. I simply know she made everyone feel loved that she knew including me in such a very short time.

Back to NC for Dee's funeral

Aunt Jane...the favorite of all favorites was diagnosed with stage IV cancer the same day Dee died...she's doing as good as she can and fighting hard.

August

Visited Aunt Jane in Miami with family in tow.

Had a flat tire with a flat spare.

School started/Homework Club reopened

Susie interviewed and got a new job...stressful and exciting all at the same time.

Jack daycare search begins...stressful and less exciting all at the same time.

Had skin pre-cancer removed from head by cryogenic freezing AKA burning the hell out of my face.

Had 3 seizures in the midle of the night (hence ambulance ride), broke hand (hence typing errors ), hit head (hence concussion and short term memory loss, cut chin and lip (hence 10 stitches already removed and healed after Susie found me in a puddle of blood face down in the bathroom, started seizure meds (hence dizziness and nausea). All of which lead to general fear of bathrooms.

September

1 cast put on hand to be removed 9/13, 1 lab workup to check med levels, 1 MRI on head (in the tunnel), 1 neuro doc appt., 1 surgeon appt. to remove facial stitches, 2 appts. with primary care later and still 1 EEG, 2 ortho appts., 1 primary care visit, 2 dermotalagist appts., several neuro appts., several blood/lab test to go.

Back to work after 2 week hiatus.

Oh, and Jack's sick...the cherry on the top I suppose.

Not the summer I planned on.

Poor me...actually, I feel quite fortunate to have so many people that helped me/us through all of this. I feel especially lucky to have Susie as my wife. If I created the perfect wife for me I still couldn't come close to her...Thanks Susie and, of course, thanks Dee!

A week in the life of Jack

2007-06-11T08:54:00.000-04:00

Bicycle lessons begin with our new bike and seat (He loves them)

Swim lessons with our new teacher (He tolerates them)...he can already find the side when put underwater within reach and float all alone on his back...We're proud of the little waterbug!

We ended up at Disney World this weekend after someone was supposed

to let us in for free to MGM but did not show. As it was Sunday morning and we had already

gotten Jack all excited and were sitting in the parking lot while singing the Mickey Mouse Club song, we decided to pay to go to Magic Kingdom ($140).

5 Hours after arriving at Magic Kingdom

(we weren't leaving after dropping $140 on tickets),

Jack was pooped out...the temperature on

his high tech stroller read 105 degrees!

Later that evening, Jack says "Mickey, Magic" while showing off his mouse ears!

The Disney bug has struck!

Rocky (The story of MY pregnancy)

2007-05-25T12:50:00.000-04:00

This is a survey my wife and her friends are filling out and I felt left out...so I decided to talk about MY FIRST BABY!

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? No... it was immaculate!

2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? Yes...about two months.

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? I was in severe pain.

4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU? If I could have, I would have.

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 31

6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? MRI

7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? I told my wife that my side hurt...then I told the doctor who acted as if I was just having a sympathy pregnancy as my wife was pregnant at the same time.

8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? I knew from the start that my baby was assexual.

9. DUE DATE: Noone seemed to know!

10. DID YOU DELIVER EARLY OR LATE? I'm not quite sure when I delivered...I just knew it was gone because the pain went away and the doctor who read my results told me it was gone.

11. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? No, but I did get Vertigo at the same time I was pregnant which made it very difficult for me to stand for about a week but antibiotics finally zapped that as it was due to an infection in my ear. I also had an extremely low temperature...around 95 for a few days and extreme pain in my back.

12. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? I drank Cranberry juice trying to get rid of the pain but basically I just craved sleep as I lay in the bed shivering a great deal of time.

13. WHO IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? The doctor who acted as if it was simply sympathy for my wife...who was also prego!

14. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX? It had no sex.

15. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING? Rocks have no sex organs.

16. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY? Unsure.

17. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? No...noone cared to give my baby anything...although we did have 4 for my wife's simultaneous pregnancy.

18. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? See above comments about noone caring!

19. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY? It was awful...I thought I was going to die from the pain as I was shaking throughout...it irritated my kidney but other than that, no.

20.WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? In my studio apartment I think but it's hard to say for sure!

21. HOW MAY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? It seemed like a week straight!

22.WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? No hospital, although Susie drove me to the dr. office and outpatient clinic for the MRI

23.WHO WATCHED? Noone watched the birth I hope as it was a very private moment!

24.WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION? It was not a C-section but I don't no that natural is the right word either!

25.DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? I took nothing!

26.HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH? Not sure as I couldn't find it.

27.DID YOUR CHILD HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS? Not sure of this one either.

28.WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? Rocky, because he was a Kidney Stone!!!

29. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY? He is approximately 2 years old next month!

North Carolina...Paris & Tuscany???

2007-05-22T09:49:00.000-04:00

June is here! Homework Club is closed...yippee!

Summer plans include: Running a grass roots summer camp for at-risk kids...yikes...during the month of June. Then, in July, we will take a family road trip to North Carolina where we will rendezvous with Susie's family. On the way up and on the way back we plan to stop in at Amelia Island and enjoy the beach. After that, we've got no plans...yippee!

Best of all though is our plan to go to Paris and Italy in May of next year. There, I said it. Now we have to do it! Sorry Jack but Mommy & Daddy must go! Grandparents beware...for 10 days you will be under the Sultans direct rule! Don't worry Jack...I promise to bring you some chocolate and wine from abroad...oh, you don't drink wine...well, what shall we do with 6 bottles of fine Chianti from Tuscany?

Miami con Jack

2007-05-14T08:18:00.001-04:00

We had a great weekend!

Somewhere around Tuesday of last week, Susie and I decided to trek down to Miami with the boy to practice for planned upcoming trips to North Carolina (July) and Tennessee (October). Plus, Jack has progressively become better about the car so we figured we should test him out on a 4 hour road trip.

Little did we know that he not only loves road trips, but he now loves sleeping at other peoples houses as well. Each night, after days full of car driving, hiking in the hammocks, petting zoos, bon fires, meeting with strange and unusual relatives (my family), and only a couple of very short naps, the boy slept like a rock. In the car, Jack was content to sit and look out the window, take short naps, and sing along with the music.

In short, Jack was the perfect angel this weekend. He actually made the drive seem shorter than normal as he was quite entertaining most of the time.

One things for sure, my kid is the best! He was so sweet to all his relatives that he doesn't know very well, dropping, "thank you", "I Love You", and giving hugs to everyone. Despite his being an introvert it was clear that he knew how to be sociable when he has to.

Way to go Jack. I'm proud of you and you made your mother happy too on her second Mother's Day!

Favorite Show Crisis

2007-05-09T10:04:00.000-04:00

30 Rock for the past several months has become my favorite show of about 2 shows that I even watch. The other being The Office. The crisis arose one morning on my way to work upon listenting to Alec Baldwin berating his 11 year old daughter on a phone message that I'm sure everyone has heard by now, calling her a "pig" and threatening to "set her ass straight".

The crisis for me manifests as such...I want to watch the show but deeply disapprove of the abusive man's actions in the show. Further, I'm not even sure if I can find him funny anymore anyway. The fact is, if I knew of everyone's closet domestic violence behaviors, I would probably be forced to stop interacting with nearly half the world or more. So should I stop watching 30 Rock as I have or should I simply ignore my morals/values and watch it anyhow simply because it's on and my decision not to watch has very little impact, if any at all? Is this the same as letting someone tell "rabbi jokes" and not saying anything or keeping a friend that uses the "n" word or different because Mr. Baldwin is in tv land?

If feel like C. Thomas Howell in "Soul Man".

Kindergarten Fever

2007-05-09T09:47:00.000-04:00

Last night, Susie and I suddenly had a realization...someday in the next 4 years we are going to have to drop our little boy off at SCHOOL! I think we were watching a commercial with a parent doing just that and we both nearly cried. I still remember crying when I went to kg...not just once but every day for at least a month. The thing is, Jack will probably be fine but once again I expect to be crying for a month straight. Maybe we'll just home school him...I'm sure being an only child, home schooled won't lead to any problems...or at least nothing that 20 years of therapy can't cure.

Lil Sasquatch?

2007-05-07T08:11:00.000-04:00

Is Jack actually a desendant of Bigfoot? Notice the gait and the placement of the arms. While Jack may not be hairy as of yet, there is no doubt he will be quite hairy by 33 as his father (myself) is growing hair at an alarming rate in places hair should not even grow. I suppose I should be extra nice to our young Sasquatch as he may grow up to be quite strong...as long as he doesn't evolve into the disgustingly, smelly Skunk Ape as they are hunted in these parts http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skunk_Ape

Funny

2007-05-02T19:15:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is the day I throw this big event at my school called Family Fun Night which is anything but "FUN" for me. It involves a great deal of food, games, and a talent show all set up by ME! The next day I will attend the most boring and mundane training mandated by those that fund my job...meanwhile, all I want to do is spend time with my family.

Jack is soooooooooo funny now. Yesterday he told a bunny in our backyard..."hello bunny...bye, bye, have a good day". We just finished making mud puddles in our bushes which Jack stomped in for 30 minutes straight saying, "dirty, dirty, mud, mud". The temper tantrums have definitely calmed down a bit seemingly correlated to learning the word "help". Perhaps the Beatles knew a 19 month old when they wrote that song.

Jack has a cold again, Susie is just about over it, and I think I'm getting it! What the hell...I think we need to live in a bubble.

Aside...Alec Baldwin...you were my comedic idol and now you've ruined it with your crappy fatherdom. No more 30 Rock for me...sucks as this was about the only show we watch except for The Office...

Time to go bathe those ladden in mud!

What's New?

2007-04-25T17:08:00.000-04:00

The boy is yelling at me as I type this because he wants to "eat" (it's 30 minutes until dinner time), "stairs" (he wants to go back downstairs), "no" (he wants me to stop whatever I'm doing, no matter what it is)...now he needs "help" because he's "stuck" in the between the chair and the wall. Oh well, so much for blogging. Actually that sums up what's going on in these parts pretty well. Temper tantrum beginning and now fully happening!

Since I make concerted efforts to ignore these at all costs, I'll keep writing.

This past weekend Susie and I took Jack to Tavares for the Thomas the train fair/tourist trap extravaganza. Jack loved it...I think! It was a bit overwhelming but he then went home and played with his Thomas the train set he got the day before the rest of the evening.

The next day we took Jack out all day to a Latin Parade that we didn't mean to go to. Jack liked that to...I'm not sure we can say the same. We met our friends Jay and Steff and Jack liked that too. He's a huge show off and clearly prefers the ladies in his life to the men.

Okay...now it's really time to go as Jack has locked himself in his bedroom...must find skeleton key!

Bye Bye!

Some recent pictures from my phone

2007-04-10T14:31:00.000-04:00

This is from at least a couple of months ago...one of my all time favorites!

Virus' Suck!

The infamous "Fisheye"...we say "fisheye" and this is the face he makes...that's my boy!

Jack exorcises the demon virus!

Welcome To Your 30's Lady Friend and Why The Ped Has Got To Go!

2007-04-10T09:01:00.000-04:00

As I mentioned yesterday, Susie turned 30 and now I don't feel like I'm a decade ahead of her. Despite the week from viral hell, we managed to celebrate the big day in very small fashion with an evening of relaxation provided by The Keith & Jack Spa managed by Jack, of course, and courtesy of Bath and Body Works, Godiva chocalates, and French Silk Pie. Not much for a 30th birthday, so a mulligan was called and we will continue the celebration at a later date.

Jack is returning to form. He has learned to play the guitar, with a pick mind you, and even tries to strum with his toes (rock star?). The virus seems to be gone and the ear infection that accompanied it is hopefully going away as well, as today is the final day of antibiotics.

The search for a new pediatrician has officially begun once again. Here is a breakdown of why we are moving on to our 3rd pedicatrician...this is more for venting purposes than thinking anyone in the world really cares to read all of this:

Our current pediatrician just started to charge a fee for after hours consultation with a nurse (not a big deal really, but still rather crappy considering the money we already give them)
When Jack fell ill last week, with a temp of 103, the doctors office sent us on a 30 minute trek to get a blood sample done...after the initial sample, they decided to do a full blood workup only to send us back again to the original office. (still not that big of a deal)
Then, after getting bloodwork done at Quest and capturing a urine sample...with no instructions on how or what to do with it...we were told to schedule a 48hr follow up appointment by our doctor to check on the results of the blood culture. At the 48hr follow up we were told by another doctor (who is part of the group) that they did not yet have the results but instead they would call us later but "not to worry, it's probably just a virus". Noone called ahead to let us know the results of the test were not received, further noone seemed to even remember about the results until we asked for them before leaving(starting to piss me off)
While waiting to meet for a 3rd appointment in as many days, we were asked by a nurse outside the waiting room why our son was so upset (in the middle of a full on temper tantrum and a 102 temperature), she also asked why we were there...uhhhh you asked us to come back...I don't know why? (Enter Red Raskin)
After being called into the examining room we waited another 40 minutes...when the doctor finally came in (3rd different doctor in as many days) no apology for the wait was given (okay whatever) and then she --the doctor-- asked "so what are you here for today" (chart in hand, clearly unopened/Jack screaming bloody murder).
Oh, I almost forgot, an ear infection was found on the second visit when the doctor examined him much more closely than the 1st doctor did...only to conclude that he probably had acquired it since the previous days visit (bullshit!)...the 3rd doctor indicated that the ear infection could have been the cause of the fever all along (I suggest a staff meeting or doctor dinner or something)
Then, here's the kicker, nearly 72 hours after waiting for blood results on what we were told should be a 48hr test, our assigned pediatrician called to say no results were back yet but she just wanted to check on Jack (never said she wasn't nice)...she added that we would be called later in the day with the results of the blood work...no call followed. At 4:30 Susie called before the office closed and was informed that someone would call before the end of the day after checking with Quest on the results...at 5:00pm Susie was called and informed there were still no results received! Red Raskin called back to chew someone out but the office was closed, alas, closed.
Next day, I called the office and spoke with a nurse at around 8:30am...the nurse informed me that no results were received yet and that Quest was at fault...I was also informed that the doctors (her superiors) should not have informed me wrongly that I would recieve 48 hr results to begin with and that "sometimes the doctors don't understand how Quest works". (Waaaahhhhttt?...are the doctors at war with the nurses?)
Later that same day...nearing 2:30 pm on a Friday I decided to press until recieving results as the weekend was approaching fast...once again I was told by a nurse, "sorry, still no results"...I lost it explaining the whole fiasco, refusing to await another call back (which I added never happened as noone ever called back as promised, and requesting a doctor to speak to...I was told that the fault was with Quest but that a doctor was going to call to see what was happening as of that very moment(despite the nurse insisting there was nothing that could be done---then why was the doctor calling now after I insisted on getting to the bottom of this???)...I indicated that I would call but I couldn't apparently due to the lab/doctor kahootz game going on so it was up to the doctor to see that the info was obtained and advocated for appropriately...I lost it some more as the nurse informed me that the office was very busy (I informed her that they should not be so busy that they can't take care of their patients...especially those with a baby and a 104.7 temperature!)...that's when a doctor got on the phone with me, finally.
A doctor, the one who initially ordered the blood work, then indicated, after trying to explain how the blood tests work and the time tables for bloodwork as if I just didn't understand how labs work (the same one that asked us to come back in 48hrs to get the results in the first place), she suddenly realized that the results had actually been available all along and that whomever I spoke to must of simply missed them! So, 96 hours later...the 48 hr results, which were actually available all along, were given to us!

WHAT THE F***!

I proceeded to tell the doctor, that I was ecstatic about the positive results...and appalled by the handling of my son and his case. I then was forced to tell her to stop talking as she attempted to convince me that all was okay because Jack is okay! I informed her of our decision to seek out a different pediatrician itemizing the poor communication, advocacy, and overall care my son had received on what should have been a simple case...god forbid it was something more serious, which to be honest, we still didn't know at that point and were worried to death.
Oh yeah, one other thing, when Jack got the antibiotics in his legs noone mentioned the pain that would follow rendering him unable to walk for 4 days...the next day, while receiving the second shot of antibiotics, we were told the medicine was incredibly painful...thanks for the heads up...a**holes!

AHHHHHHHHHHH, I feel better!!!!!!!!!! But we're still finding a new ped.

The Virus? and Susie's Birthday!!!!

2007-04-09T08:01:00.000-04:00

A week ago yesterday, Jack came down with what would turn out to be a virus, at least we think. Over the course of 4 days, Jack maintained a temperature at or above 103 reaching as high as 104.7 on at least 3 occassions. I missed 4 days of work as we were on pins and needles, going back and forth to doctors appointments, filling the boog up with antibiotics and motrin, driving around in the car for hours in the middle of the night, and sometimes just staring at the poor little guy laying helplessly. After blood work, two injections of antibiotics (in case the blood work revealed a bacteria, and a ridiculously bad experience with our pediatrician (who we are firing once again), Jack's fever finally went away. So, we think it was a virus? But, as usual, noone knows. The important thing is the boy is eating and drinking and laughing, and sleeping (not through the night but sleeping all the same), and basically returning to normal.

Meanwhile, today is Susie's 30th birthday. I was planning all kinds of fun stuff but in the midst of The Virus everything was put on hold. We did get to go stay in a hotel Saturday while my parents releaved us of our caretaking duties. We danced the night away after a nice dinner at our favorite club, Independent Bar, and got a little messy. Anyway...HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my best friend in the whole world! A "due over" birthday is definitely in order!

Verbose Child

2007-03-29T10:46:00.000-04:00

In all the craziness I don't think I've mentioned what a good talker Jack has become.

He basically can say everything now...a great deal of it he just repeats and doesn't fully know the meaning of...however, he seems to be beyond the typicall 18 month milestone.

These are some of Jack's words that he does know the meaning of and common phrases he actually uses in correct context:

The basic stuff...
bye bye, milk, more, no, no, no, no, no, no, apple, cat, orange, star, moon, night night, mommy, daddy, cat, dog, woof, meow, snake, ssss, turtle, lion, roar, hungry, doctor, sand, yucky, hat, shirt, pants, diaper, garbage, car, truck, house, home, walk, outside, shoe, sock, stinky, grandma, grampy, Sunny, garage, run, fast, bus, airplane

...while writing this I realized this list will go on for forever so I will skip to the harder more impresive stuff like....

Where did it go?
I don't know?
I love you (the newest one)
I'm a model...Susie tought him to do this when he sees people in magazines
Ready, set, go
1, 2, 3
I'm hiding
I see you
helicopter (he can say all 4 syllables---genius)

At his check-up the milestone indicated he should know at least 20 words...I think he knows somewhere near 100 and seems on the brink of full on conversation. Actually, I don't think this has a thing to do with intelligence but an intense desire to communicate as this kid from the beginning has seemed extremely alert and attentive to people and their every move.

Soon he can help me with paperwork and maybe even begin tutoring at The Homework Club...he needs to work off the diapers and monthly college fund payments.

I'm glad you can talk, now get to work Jack!

Temper Tantrums and Terrible Twos Commeth?

2007-03-26T08:32:00.000-04:00

This weekend, while the family was attempting to fully recover from the Great Stomach Plague of 2007, Jack decided to crank up the temper tantrums about ten fold. During the Plague the tantrums had progressed which Susie and I wrote off to the poor guy feeling sick and, of course, we catered to his every need. However, this weekend, Jack appeared to be fully back to normal aside from the mental breakdowns. Apparently, somewhere during the past week Jack decided that temper tantrums, by this I mean screaming with fists clenched, face reddened from lack of oxygen intake, crying uncontrollably for 10 to 20 minutes straight, and stiffening the body like a board as to prevent any conceivable activity from being accomplished, needed to take place about once per hour and, at least once in the middle of the night at or around 2am.

Today is our wedding anniversary and I must say it is overshadowed by lack of sleep and PTSD symptoms triggered from the colic of 2005. What the hell? Right when you think, life is getting easier, wham!

Stomach Bug

2007-03-21T11:13:00.000-04:00

Warning to all...hide in your house if you know anyone who says they've had the stomach flu recently...holy !@#$. It is the worst sickness I've had since I was about 8 years old and I believe my wife would concur on this after our weekend form HELL!

On Friday, I took the day off from work and Susie and I took Jack to the an art festival spending the day outside getting ready for a long weekend filled with springtime fun. On our way home from the festival, we stopped at Toys R Us to let little Jack pick out some beach toys for our Sunday, planned beach day. Problem is, Jack's stomach was not informed. 10 minutes after getting back in the car things got pretty gross with lunch finding it's way all over the car seat, the car, and all three of us.

We headed home...for the next 48hrs. Jack's tummy decided it hated him as it would not hold anything down and the poor guy got dehydrated. Then, Saturday, St. Patrick's Day evening....my stomach decided to join in the fun. A violent evening of toilet hugging ensued while Susie juggled taking care of me and the boy for 24hrs. Then, as I came out of the fog, Susie fell ill on Sunday evening...5 hrs of horrific, stomach wrenching war. Then it was my turn to take care of Susie and the boy who had become quite dehydrated and on the brink of an ER trip as he refused to drink Pedialyte the only recommended treatment besides an IV apparently.

In the 11th hour, Jack decided to drink the stuff. 6 days later, Susie and I are nearly recovered. Little Jack is hydrated but still not quite back to normal as he just started eating real food again yesterday and had his first milk this morning in nearly 4 days. On the brighter side, as a family we probably weigh about 20 lbs lighter and saved some money on groceries.

Happy St. Patty's Day and springtime despite our collective stomachs' objection to honoring these special occasions.

Public Bathroom Behavior (Yes, I've made three blog entries in one day)

2007-03-13T10:43:00.000-04:00

What the hell is with men at urinals in public bathrooms? For those of you that aren't privvy to the urinal experience...many men like to lean on the wall or flusher while they relieve. During this leaning event, some of them like to grunt or even let out a low, howl. Ask any honest man and he is sure to tell you that this is true unless of course he is a howler or grunter. Even worse are the sounds coming from the closed stalls...I don't want to get gross (or have I already) but the noises that come out of the stalls are even worse. Who are these men that sound as if they are giving birth at Carrabbas Italian Grill? Do they do that at home or are they marking their territory? I suppose they can't help it or why would they do it. Is it a sign of masculinity learned in I'm A Man Hear Me Grunt, Moan, Wail, and Howl 101 at AARP meetings. Funny thing is, if in there with a friend, family member, or acquaintance, no one ever makes a peep. It's always strangers somewhere between the ages of 40 and 105.

Also, who are the people writing the graffiti? Where are their pens and pencils? How is it that I've never walked in on someone in mid sentence or genital drawing? What happens if you call the phone numbers on the wall? Perhaps you really will have a good time? I know that women like to write weird things on their walls when they have had one or two or twelve too many but men seem to do it completely sober with every intention of expressing anything from sexual frustration to religious conviction to anger release.

Note to self: write a book about the Psychology of Bathroom Behavior and get rich or simply spend entirely too much time in bathrooms...likely the latter

Shout Out To My Mom & Dad

2007-03-13T10:20:00.000-04:00

Parents make you crazy! Some parents are over-involved some are under-involved but all seem to make their kids crazy. If not every moment, than at least some amount of the time.

I think I already make little Jack crazy. I fawn over him, kiss him, flip him, chase him, hug him and so on every chance I get. And if I'm not doing it, Susie is. Sometimes I think he would say, "stop, leave me alone for a minute". But, alas, he can't say that yet and therefore, we just keep on going...making him crazy.

I can see making Jack crazy the rest of his life. I already know I won't deal well with any suffering he may have to endure at any age. I probably will always want to help or fix it. I'll probably always want to be on his good side and never be in confrontation with him...especially when he's an adult. I'm sure I'll think, "he's got to get through this on his own" and then I'll rush to help him or come across as "how can I fix this for you" even when I'm trying not to come across that way at all.

My parents are the best...they always want to help me and my family and always have. My dad is the king of tragic reality and is the perfect superhero when it comes to bailing you out of a jam. My mother is the queen of positivity and "look on the brightside". The two of them together make me crazy...probably because they make me feel like they want me to be happy every second of my life which we all know is impossible and probably not even desirable.

The fact is, every interaction with them, every time they watch Jack, pretty much everything they do is directed at making me and my family happy even when it can't possibly achieve this goal. I guess this makes me crazy because sometimes they can't help. One thing is for sure though, I'm incredibly lucky to have parents like them.

The other day, my father came to babysit Jack while we went to Universal Studios for the evening to see the Doobie Brothers. While upstairs, I overheard a conversation he had with a friend on the phone. I heard my father indicate to his friend that he was going to be babysitting for the evening. Apparently the friend expressed his remorse and suggested that my father was somehow being dooped. I heard my father say something to the effect of, "no, I love spending time with my grandson, I want to do it". The exchanges went on for a few minutes as one man tried to convince another that spending time with his grandson was desirable, not a chore.

Thanks dad and mom....I think a great deal of parents and grandparents feel they way you do about their grandson/son but not many show it through their actions consistently the way you two do. You certainly are not under-involved and I know that I won't ever be that with my son because of you. You make me crazy and I hope I make Jack crazy just the same...well maybe not exactly the same.

Where are they now?

2007-03-13T10:00:00.000-04:00

I wonder what percentage of people look up old friends when sitting at a computer with nothing to do? The other day I looked up an ex-girlfriend only to find out she is about to get married. In the past I've looked up other ex's discovering marriages, kids, lucrative jobs. I've also looked up old friends discovering interesting jobs or places they lived. Sometimes I find websites, blogs, or even pictures of them. Somehow I form some pieced together perception of who they are now which is probably way off considering the tiny bits of info I come up with.

How strange that I know these things about people I may not have seen or spoken to in over 10, 15 or sometimes 20 years. I've even looked up kids I went to elementary school with...one is a championship, one-legged, special olympic skier who survived cancer. Somehow I usually assume that if I find absolutely nothing that the person didn't or hasn't done very much to date...doesn't really even make sense. I always feel a bit stalkerish even though I know everyone else is doing it too. In the old days, this kind of detective work would probably lead most to assume you had a problem or maybe even result in an injunction.

I wonder who has looked me up? They probably would have found The Homework Club website and from that seen my picture and also obtained an abbreviated work history. They may have found this blog and then found out all about my family and so forth. Perhaps they found nothing and think I have been up to nothing. For some reason when I write this blog I never think of people that I knew but don't know anymore or people I don't like reading it, I always think of friends, family and maybe a few curious cats who don't know me reading it.

What a strange world will live in...perhaps someday I'll run into some old high school friend who will ask, "How's Jack?" I wonder if I'll be creeped out?

Beach Trip

2007-03-01T14:43:00.000-05:00

This past Sunday, Susie and I made an impromptu decision to take Jack to the beach. It was only his second time there and really his first real trip as the last one was in November when it was too cold to really get beachy.

Jack loved it. For the first 30 minutes he just walked around us in a circle, smiling with a kitchen spoon in his hand. I love this kid so much I think I'm going to explode sometimes!

The best part about living in Florida, sorry to those of you that have moved away, is the fact that you can go to the beach in the middle of winter. While the water was cold it wasn't too cold as I was able to dive in as were all the British tourists who are the only thing that makes me feel comfortable in my glaring, whiteness. Here are some pics from our beach outing:

Survey--I've never done one of these...nor will I ever again!

2007-02-23T11:15:00.000-05:00

Middle Name: Erik

Birth month: December

Hometown: Miami, FL

School attended as a child: Windermere Elementary

Sports played as a high schooler: Copious amounts of soccer

College: University of South Florida and Rollins College

How I met my wife: Ropes course team building exercise on my first day as a counselor on the same staff

First Kiss: ? Whitervall--some girl when I was in 3rd grade wanted to "practice" while playing hide and go seek...whenever my sister was "it" the other girl and I would hide and kiss until my sister found us.

Knew I was in love: when my wife made me feel like 4 years old again

Engaged: Valentine's Day, 2005 at Leu Gardens. I proposed on both knees in front of the lake. I said yes and then we walked around and listened to bad jazz...technically this was my second proposal as the first came on the same day (five minutes after) we found out Jack was on his way...I was scared out of my mind but already knew without a doubt Susie was The One!

Wedding Date: March 26, 2005, in Miami at Ant Krazee's

Honeymoon: weekend in the Keys... layed in a hammock and ate shrimp

Major in College: Psychology

Minors: Anthropology

Degree: MA in Mental Health Counseling, BA in Psychology

Current Work Situation: Mental Health Counselor at an elementary school for at-risk kids and manage a new business while providing tutoring to yet more kids...and dad of a one year old

Siblings: Sunny (my sister who many thought was my twin while growing up)

Kids: JACK aka The Boog

Current Pet Situation: Zip aka Pits (Jack calls her that)

Something you might not know about me: most of these things you don't know for a good reason but one might be that I have seizures on very rare occasions or as Susie refers to them (fits)

My Hobbies: Cooking, gardening, biking (on hiatus), guitar, music

Favorite Color: Green

Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate

Fav. Place to eat: Any French restaurant with Beef Wellington

Favorite Store: Ross

Favorite month of the year: December!

Dream Vacation: Second honeymoon in Paris and Italy with Susie

Greatest Fear: Needles/Dentists

Fav. TV Show(s): 30 Rock

Fav. Music: Radiohead/Tom Waits/Ben Harper/Beethoven/David Bowie

Fav. Actor: Jack Nicholson/Paul Newman

Fav. Movie: Life is Beautiful

Fav. Holiday: Christmas

Favorite attribute in people: Compassion

My Best Attribute: Elbows

FCAT Blues

2007-02-22T08:11:00.000-05:00

The lucky Floridian children that I work with (I'm a mental health counselor) are now full on entrenched in FCAT woes. Monday begins the dreaded test upon which all of their ability and merit is based.

For those adults out there that remember taking SAT's or GRE's or other standardized tests...remember the anxiety that went with taking those tests. Now, imagine being 8 or 9 years old and taking a test of even greater significance. Further, imagine knowing that your score on this one test, which you cannot study for, dictates (solely) whether you pass or fail. Next, throw in the major hardships that come with poverty (as most of the kids I serve come from hard working, lower income families).

Many of these kids have parents who have worked their way from extreme poverty and practically nothing to struggling with head barely above water. Many make slightly too much for Medicare/Medicaid benefits but don't have jobs which provide insurance and therefore have chronic health issues that more affluent families would have easily been treated and freed from long ago. Mental health issues run rampant in lower income families to say the least due to the prolonged stress, often passed like from generation to generation.

In the end, most of the kids that take the FCAT do fine. Year after year they prove themselves and move to the next grade. But, for those that can't handle the stress of the test or the other intangible variables that are so pervasive in their lives (like their father dying in Iraq), or those that simply don't have the IQ to catapult them over these obstacles...those kids are retained...sometimes more than once (I work with two kids in the 3rd grade on their 3rd time around--can you say, "drop out". They don't fail...the system fails!

Should there be an FCAT, sure...as a test to measure along with report card grades and to assist in targeting the types of services needed to help a child do better. Not punish them, often for things they CANNOT control...which is more often than not precisely what happens.

Jack updates

2007-02-20T14:06:00.000-05:00

This past weekend I finally cut the boy's hair. Now he looks like a man (pictures to follow soon if our computer can get on-line long enough to upload the pics). He also has been eating huge amounts of food and sucking down gallons of milk...I think he's hitting a growth spurt. The boy has truly become a real person with an incredible sense of humor.

Things he does to make us laugh include:

1) Dancing as if in the 80's video for "I Like Big Butts" until we laugh

2) "Fisheye"--this thing where he looks at you out of the corner of one eye while pretending to be turning away...he usually cracks himself up too

3) The other day he brought his mother a present from his diaper...only he wasn't wearing a diaper and what should have gone in the diaper ended up on the floor and then in his hand...he knew it was garbage and mommy needed to help!

4) He practices to take on the great hot dog eating champion of the world, Kobayashi (don't ask why I know this), by stuffing 50 Cheerios in his mouth at once...it's scary and funny at the same time.

5) Spinning...he loves to make himself dizzy and stumble around after a good spin.

The boy is doing great...we are enjoying him more than ever lately. I try to savor the babydom as I know it will be gone sooner than we know it. He already seems like a little boy and no longer a baby.

The Boog is killing me with cuteness his cuteness!

Valentine's Day

2007-02-14T11:30:00.000-05:00

I LOVE MY WIFE...as if you all didn't already know that!

Here's why:

1) She's funny
2) She's almost as funny as me
3) She's smart
4) She's much smarter than me
5) She's the kindest person I've ever known...except when it comes to solicitors
6) She's an incredible mother
7) She teaches me to be a better person without even knowing it
8) She's not married to someone else (anymore)
9) She's beautiful (a side perk of this whole love thing)
10) She thinks I'm the greatest...even though she is!

Almost VD and No WIFI

2007-02-13T08:04:00.000-05:00

Our computer at home is not connecting to our WIFI network and therefore Susie and I have been neglecting our blogs for the past few weeks due to lack of access to the internet. I can only access mine at work.

Jack is doing great but seems to be teething again as he spends a good part of the day with his entire fist in his mouth. Susie and I are busy planning our covert operations for Valentines Day...at this point they are so covert, I don't even know what I'm doing! Meanwhile, Judah Barry is still chirping or, more accurately, screaming in the middle of the night...remember, the bird in the swamp. The business is moving along in the evenings and, at least for me, has become a normal routine now. It's still hard to not see Jack at all from early Monday morning until Tuesday afternoon and the same thing on Thursday until Friday.

All in all, life is feeling good lately. Getting that last Jack-head-check out of the way is a huge relief and it's nice to know we don't have to do it again for a whole year.

This picture is from January but it is my new favorite so I thought I'd share it with all.

The Monster Hibernates

2007-02-06T08:08:00.000-05:00

A very long update on the medical issue that prompted me to start writing this blog in the first place.

It has been 6 months since we last had a radiological imaging done of Jack's head. Jack had just turned one at the time of the last check up. You may recall that our neurologist (Trumble) indicated a follow up schedule doubling the time span after each check as long as the cyst does not change or cause developmental delays or symptoms in little Jack.

Anyone who has a baby knows that 6 months in a baby's life is like an eternity...the changes, developmentally and physically are profound. Also the variation in these changes is so wide across babies that there is such a huge window for what is normal and what is not. It is almost impossible to tell if a baby is "developmentally delayed" or "just hasn't hatched yet" as a woman in the neurologist's waiting room indicated about her younger son while awaiting to be seen with her 6 year old son who we gathered was recently diagnosed with cancer and had just started treatments. For this reason or reasons, the past month has had me quite anxious about the follow up appointment with Trumble and the preceding CT scan.

The MRI was scheduled for Friday morning at 7:30am. We live about 45 minutes from the children's hospital so it was a trek. Susie and I took seperate cars so I could go to work after the procedure. Like two pros, as this was probably our 4th or 5th time going through this, we sort of just proceeded as if things were normal. However, I couldn't help but notice my own inability to cope with the world as a whole in the 2 weeks leading up to the appointment. Every little nuance in Jack's behavior over the past 6 months ran through my mind as I ruminated more frequently up until Friday morning. The fact that Jack held his left arm up while walking and did not swing it as he does his right hand, the increased frequency of vomiting this month, the middle of the night awakenings where he clearly appeared to be in pain (always attributable to gas but never fully), or the very noticeable temper (always attributable to inheritance from his father but nevery fully), or the lack of use of sippy cups still drinking only from bottles (always attributable to a very strong willed baby making a choice but never fully)...all of these and many more behaviors which can't don't mean a damn thing suddenly make you wonder...what if it's the cyst?

Driving to the MRI appointment at 6:30am in seperate cars we realized we are driving in incredibly dangerous weather. Susie calls me on my cell phone and we share information about closed roads and tornadoes heard to be moving through the area already wreaking havoc just north of Orlando. I keep thinking, maybe we aren't meant to get this MRI today after all. We finally arrive after a very scary ride.

In the financial receiving room of the hospital the local news in the waiting room is showing damage and storm warnings as the severity has just been realized and is now a national story. Our focus is again on Jack though and the MRI. We check in and our escort leads us to radiology in the newly renovated hospital which we contributed over the past 2 years at least enough to purchase the flat screen t.v. hanging on the wall playing the movie Cars along with several of the swanky waiting room chairs.

The waiting starts but we are used to it expect it now. Susie and I hold hands a couple of times fleetingly while playing with Jack and hiding our fear the best we know how. Jack laughs and plays not knowing to do any different. This is the best part of this whole thing and we always do our best to keep him from knowing it is different or scary or terrifying for us. After about 45 minutes of waiting, a nurse or tech or someone calls our name. We of course prepare to round up the boy and get this thing over with until we are informed that the MRI machine is down, "due to the storm". Susie and I just stare at each other as if to say, "of course". The nurse/tech offers a solution, which I was surprised by as I've become used to being told, "sorry, there's nothing we can do" by just about everyone in the world of healthcare. The solution was that he would call our neurologist and get the script changed to an order for a CT scan rather than an MRI. The tech bragged that he had Trumble's cell phone number. I think to myself but not out loud, good luck getting ahold of a highly sought after neurologist on a Friday, early in the morning, during a flurry of tornadoes. Within minutes we are informed that the procedure has been approved.

Then the real work begins...I have to try and get this change approved by the insurance company which must preauthorize all procedures (thank you HMO's and US healthcare debacle). Nearly two more hours later we finally get approval to go ahead with the CT scan.

Meanwhile, Susie has gotten to know a man waiting alone with his 5 year old son who appears to have Down's Syndrome. The man has basically talked to Susie, and I have overheard while on the phone waiting for the insurance gods to grant us approval to have our son get pictures of his head, that the little boy also has been diagnosed with some very serious spinal cord problems, and possibly cancer. After the little boy recieves his MRI, that has also been delayed/cancelled due to the machine going down, he is to go and have a spinal tap and see a specialist all of which is getting screwed up by the weather. The waiting room in the radiology department of a children's hospital is probably the most depressing place I can imaging being for 3 hours. The majority of the kids have experienced some sort of trauma and many have been diagnosed with noticable developmental disorders, cancers, and so on. Babies to teenagers and the parents that cope with it all collectively waiting to get help.

15 minutes after approval, I headed into the CT scanner, dawned a radiation protecting jacket and held Jack while he was exposed to the radiation, strapped to a table while magnets swirled around his little head. He cried, stopping only to lear at the source of very loud noises only to cry louder several times. Then, the procedure was over and I wisked Jack away, litterally. I like to pretend I'm saving him so he doesn't think I caused the fearful event...it helps me feel better for a minute at least. Then, as we returned to the waiting room winding down hallways, I repeated to Jack how great he did and how proud I was of him, adding that we were searching for mommy...he laughed, very obviously looking around for his mother. Then, he saw her. All was better again. We left happy but not wanting to appear too happy as several children and parents awaited with their myriad of serious problems still looming in that waiting room.

The next 2 days were extremely long...Susie and I snipped at each other...incredibly sensitive, I realized I just wanted to not talk and just get to the appointment with the neurologist to review the results of the CT scan, but life with a baby does not allow that, and neither does loving your wife. Saturday is a blur. Sunday we took Jack to Universal Studios where he played in Dr. Seuss Land and walked about 5 miles. Then, we went home, put Jack to bed, and watched the Super Bowl. We went to bed and I slept about 4 hours, waking in the middle of the night ruminating about the bad news that we could hear about the next morning. I suddenly realized with full force that I needed to prepare for the worst or I would truly be shocked this time as I had come to expect good news. I began preparing to hear the worst and react in the best way possible for Susie and Jack. I was as ready as I could be.

The next moring we drove to Trumble's office. We waited with the boy diagnosed with cancer (we surmized after talking with the family for about 15 minutes). Susie spoke with the little boys father as he asked if we had been there before, his eyes filled with tears ready to burst as if stored up for months. He wanted to know if we liked the doctor. I suddenly remembered feeling somewhat as he did several months ago when we first learned of Jack's condition which at that time was still without a proffessional prognosis. After a few interchanges we realized that their son was probably beginning cancer treatments, something that put our situation, as crappy as it is, into perspective.

Finally we were called back, waited for Trumble for about 30 minutes, and finally he walked in. He greeted us by saying something like, "I'm so sorry about the long wait....how long was it, how long were you waiting?". Both of us thought he met in his office but then we realized he meant at the hospital on Friday when the MRI machine was done and we had to work out the insurance mess. He actually cared enough to remember. This is a man with who knows how many patients of which a significant number are dealing with issues much more grandiose and traumatic than Jack's. The man is my hero. Especially when he proceeded to say, "everything looks the same...everything is without change...in my eyes we are just doing a well visit".

The man just finished meeting with us saying we would follow up in one year, but in his eyes Jack is in the clear and likely to just have a brain that formed different with a fluid filled sac.

I guess in the grand scheme of things...we are extremely lucky!

Thanks Dr. Trumble...not for what you do for us...but what you do for all of those kids and parents out their who didn't hear what we heard from you on Monday. You are truly amazing!

Grizzly Adams...and other childhood role models

2007-01-30T12:20:00.000-05:00

Yes, it's true. I wanted to be like Grizzly Adams when I was a kid.

I remembered this suddenly on Sunday night. I said to Susie, "Remember Grizzly Adams?" To which she replied, "Huh, what, no...who's that?" The generational gap between us engulfed me. I gasped and launched into my vague memories of the man, his beard, and his bear-friend. Funniest part was that I also remembered thinking as a kid, "I can't wait until I live like Grizzly Adams; in the woods, alone with nature, helping people"....in the woods? Whatever, I wanted to be him, no matter how strange this may have been considering I was probably 5 years old. Besides he wasn't totally alone, as I suddenly remembered on Sunday just before going to bed. I shouted to Susie, a good while after the original conversation, "oh yeah, and Grizzly Adams mentor was Uncle Jessie (Denver Pyle) from Dukes of Hazzard who wandered through the woods often giving help and advice to Grizzly when struggling with moral dilemmas!" Susie was now scared or maybe a bit concerned for me.

I was happy to remember my role model...I think I liked him at such a young age because I loved nature but I also loved that he was a helper. He always attempted to help those in need (and there were a great deal more people than one would think needing help in those woods). I also thought, until about 2 years ago (embarrased to admit) that I would do every job, travel to every corner of the world/universe, and experience every lifestyle (criminal to holy man). I would watch Grizzly Adams and think, "I can't wait until I live in those woods"...then I would watch Star Wars and think, "I can't wait until I learn the Jedi secrets from Yoda", and so on.

I still wonder, dream, hope and expect to experience some of these things. But I certainly have lost the feeling of, "I can do anything and will do everything". I wish this wasn't true but perhaps it's part of becoming an adult or maybe it's just unfortunate or maybe it's just temporary.

I know that I hope Jack always feels like he can do anything. Perhaps, I'll just have to get back to feeling the same in order to make sure of that.

Jeez Zhoo!

2007-01-29T08:27:00.000-05:00

This is what I say now instead of using profanity as Jack is repeating every word we say. That includes the word Jeez Zhoo. Why would I want to use profanity you ask...the boy whined from Friday evening until this morning when I left for work...all weekend! No cold symptoms are present so it was hard to empathize with the little guy. He whined at the park, in his toy car, in his high-chair, in our cars, and pretty much everywhere else we took him. Perhaps he's teething again but it's impossible to know because his mouth is already filled with teeth...maybe he's getting his wisdom teeth early!

On a cute and more pleasant note...Jack has begun using expressions like..."I don't know" when you ask him where his truck went...or, "Oh, cooooool!" which he said when I hung a big colorful flag in his playroom last night.

Maybe the whining means he's ready for more independence and he's sick of being treated like a baby? After all, he has learned the Oliver North defense..."I don't know".

All I know is Jeez Zhoo, I'm tired!

Election 2008

2007-01-25T08:51:00.000-05:00

Will we have a new woman president or maybe our first president with African descent? Will it be neither? All I know is the future looks bright in contrast to the dark ages known to most as the Bush years.

It's nice to hear issues come to the forefront seemingly of why people want to vote for one person or another rather than personalities as it seems is happening of late.

I know that this next year will be filled with extra doses of racial epithets and bigotry. On my way to work, a local radio talk show host was trying to link Obama to Muslims and "radical Islam"...I suppose having a name like Obama (sounds a great deal like Osama) is not exactly an advantage in this day and age. I have a feeling our country will be engaged in some very heated exchanges regarding "political correctness" surrounding race and gender over the next year. Perhaps this dialogue will be a good thing but I have a feeling it will ultimately lead to more division in a country which is already becoming more and more divided.

I'd be surprised if the Republican party with members like Trent Lott, can restrain themselves for a whole year without committing political suicide as their true feelings about race and women resurface.

Kids, Death, & Women's Rights

2007-01-23T09:33:00.000-05:00

Yesterday one of my little ones at the school I work at had a parent die tragically in a motorcycle accident. The 9 year old boy, full of energy, always talking about family gatherings and video games, learned his father died before school started on a Monday morning.

Today, I spent the first hour at the school processing this with 3rd graders. Some of them wanted to talk about their loved one who died tragically. Some of them wanted to share about how they would help. Some of them didn't want to talk about it at all. One said he wanted to give the grief stricken boy a card that read, "I'm so sorry and we love you" with a lolipop taped to it. Once again my life's difficulties were abruptly put into perspective.

Also, yesterday, at The Homework Club, a 13 year old boy indicated that he wondered why women had never been president and solicited my opinion. This launched me into my not so well polished history lesson of how women have been oppressed for thousands of years and only recently have they been able to fight through those oppressive systems to be in positions of power. I went on to say that I thought we would have a woman president within my lifetime and maybe much sooner than one might think (Hillary Clinton?).

All of this made me think about the world Jack is headed into and the questions and issues Susie and I will be helping him prepare for...or prepare to not be prepared for.

Judah Barry

2007-01-18T14:59:00.000-05:00

The bird is back. Well, he/she never went away. For the past 3 nights, seemingly all night, the bird a.k.a. Judah Barry (no explanation as to why we named it this) has been terrorizing us. Last night, JB chirped all night but it wasn't until around 4:30am when my wife was found cleaning cat puke off the carpet that I woke up. Only to stay awake for the rest of the day. Jack awoke at 5:30am and Susie got up with him. She had already been awake since, I think 3 days ago. I layed there, pillow over head, devising a name for The Bird...for no reason Judah Barry popped into my head and there you have it.

How can we turn this wheel of unrest, this cycle of bird hatred, this sleep deprived fog into something positive? How can we stop the madness? Will life ever be the same again? Will I hate birds for the rest of my life?

Answers: We can't, we're doomed, no, and yes!

Screaming Birds and Upchucking

2007-01-17T08:04:00.000-05:00

If you have been reading my wife's post you know...she was sick all weekend...Jack wore me out from Friday until Monday.

Monday night, a bird decided to die, we thought, keeping us up from about 3am until 6:30 when we get up to start our day.

Tuesday night...after my sister visited with Jack during "get ready for bed time" and great fun was had by all, Jack yacked up all his dinner (this meant he stayed up an extra 1 1/2 hours)...why do babies eat dirt and why do babies puke for no reason?

Fast forward to the middle of the night last night....the bird we thought had died, which I swore I would kill violently, returned. I decided to go outside at about 5am and track it down. Weapon (knife sharpener for beat down) and flashlight in hand, I quickly realized the bird was far, far away, not dying, and in the middle of a swamp behind our house...further, maybe not even a bird!

Jack woke up at 6:30...smiling and saying bye bye to me...as if to say hurry daddy or you'll be late. Susie muttered, "alduad"...which I think was "I love you" and I told her the floor was slick and to be careful due to being cleaned of puke late last night....she then stared at me and both of us seemed confused.

Question: What do we do about the mysterious vermen living in the swamp keeping us up all night and rendering us incapable of meaningful communication whereas only our baby seems to know how to speak???

New Year Resolutions cometh late

2007-01-14T09:18:00.000-05:00

Here are a few of my resolutions for this year:

Be less reactive (especially to comments from family about how "Maybe Jack would be better off if...")

Rid myself of my hamster nest tendencies (the pile of dirty clothes I like to keep next to my bed)

Drink less Coke (one Big Gulp is enough for one day, every day, two is a bit excessive)

Read more books (I haven't read since Jack was born)

Watch less tv (I haven't read since Jack was born)

Keep my toe nails cut so Jack is not afraid to go near my feet for fear of being slashed.

Have less socks with holes in them (see-keep toe nails cut above)

Why do kids eat dirt? Over and over again!

2007-01-06T19:09:00.001-05:00

I know that they are curious...but why would a human child continue to put large amounts of very dark, mineral rich dirt into their mouth even after trying it several times before? The same human child that will not eat delicious foods even when covered in sugar, butter, or salt!

Here is my theory...somewhere down the evolutionary line, our sapien friends did not know about nutrition and therefore did not necessarily keep their offspring filled with all of what they needed. Further, they themself were lacking in diet and a woman's breast milk also lacked proper fortification. As a result, babies ate dirt out of curiousity and those that ate the most mud pies lived due to the abundant minerals that resided there. This resulted in the more curious, dirt eating babies living longer and, voila, modern day dirt eating babies now run rampant amongst us!

Or, maybe, we just have a gross baby!

Pre-Christmas Fun

2006-12-23T18:55:00.000-05:00

Today Susie and I took Jack to Leu Gardens, a nature park full of much flora for looky loos and the very same park that I formally proposed to Susie on both knees. Jack loved it as did we. He loves to walk up to flower beds, sit in the middle of them and carefully touch every one of them while giggling.

Future botanist, florist, Ralph Waldo Emerson??? Or, maybe he just likes nature like his mother and father or the "f"ing nature like his Uncle Joe (so, my wife tells me).

After walking about a mile through the park, which is several acres, Jack suddenly went of the beaten path, found a small labeled tree, and sat down next to it. As I walked up to him, I read the label...it was a "Jacktree". Jack began digging into the ground, covering himself in dirt as if doing some strange ritual only Jack's would know. After about 10 minutes of picture shooting, Jack decided he was done, returned to the beaten path, found a puddle and washed his hands off.

A great time was had by all!!!

Christmas is coming and Jack is getting phat...

2006-12-21T11:51:00.000-05:00

That's right...Jack is getting P-H-A-T which means cool...at least it did in 1996. He has a huge vocab now, has begun singing his songs on his favorite shows, and even counts when someone else does.

Our weekend getaway was a huge success as we slept in late, went to bed late, consumed adult beverages and ate very expensive food.

Then, after the weekend, Susie went to work and I took Jack to Universal Studios/Islands of Adventure. Jack had his first snow cone, played at the playgrounds, rode the Seuss Merry go round and went on the Cat In the Hat Ride. Then Jack picked out a present for his mother. Cool thing is, I have a season pass and Jack is free so it was a very fun and inexpensive outing.

Yesterday, Jack got to visit the Animal Kingdom lodge, one of the Disney Resorts. The lodge is set up so it feels as if you are on a savannah in Africa. Jack saw his first Giraffe, Zebra, and Bison but it was Susie that seemed the most excited.

I think Jack is being so good as to prevent a coal filled stocking. Hope everyone has a great Christmas!

Back in the Blog Saddle

2006-12-12T19:54:00.000-05:00

Let me recap the past 3 weeks. Thanksgiving was great but the days following warranted a renaming of the entire weekend as Angstgiving. Then I got sick, Jack got sicker, and Susie got a bit sick but mostly tired as hell from taking care of the sickos. Now we are all better. Except Jack is still coughing and phlegmy but better all the same. Somewhere in there we bought a tree, hung the lights and worked too much. Then we tried to get a family photo but Jack decided to flip out right at picture time resulting in us leaving and deciding to take our own photo at home...as if we don't have enough already. Oh, and Jack now has about 12 teeth including a couple of molars. So that certainly flavored the past few weeks mood wise.

Blogging has not been on my radar to say the least.

This weekend Susie and I are off to stay in a resort hotel, eat at Emeril's Chop Chop while leaving The Boog with my parents. WE CAN'T FREAKIN WAIT!!!

Thanks to my mother-in-law I may even have some new digs to wear as she sent me a gift card to Kenneth Cole...thanks ma'n'law.

T-Dinner is good for you!

2006-11-21T08:01:00.001-05:00

Finally, Thanksgiving dinner is upon us...here is a link to a page which somehow finds a way to make Thankgiving dinner, including the pie, healthy. http://health.yahoo.com/experts/joybauernutrition/4761/hidden-nutrition-gems-in-your-thanksgiving-feast Yes! I'm printing this out for all the health nuts who don't eat T-dinner or even talk about how unhealthy it is. True, it's a bunch of crap, but who cares....it's f-ing Thanksgiving! Be sure to read the angry comments that follow at the bottom of the page...they make me laugh out loud...and "laughing's my favorite" (name the movie this quote is from and the actor who says it and you will be added to my best friend list--does not include a Christmas present but, instead, a special place in my comedic heart)

The school I work at just passed some sort of school law (for those of you in schools, you know that they think they can make their own laws), that kids can no longer bring "unhealthy snacks" to share with others at school. This means, if some kid's Martha Stewart mother bakes them cupcakes to share with the other students on their b-day, they are not allowed to have them. In fact, when the child arrives with the cupcakes, smile on face, proud of mom and the sharing that is about to make them the classroom favorite, the teacher of the class has been instructed to remove the cupcakes and take them to the front office. Here the cupcakes shall sit until the end of the school day when the birthday boy or girl must pick up their cupcakes and return home with them. What! Way to go Orange County schools...you've succesfully made every kid in America, especially those who get no birthday cake at home, hate you and the schools you run even more! No wonder kids are toting guns to school...they can't even eat a freakin' cupcake!

The Boog has a cold

2006-11-20T11:14:00.000-05:00

Jack's nickname for a long time now has been Boog. I morphed Luv Bug which is what we called him in utero and Booger together and formed his new name.

Anyway, he has a cold now. Yesterday we took him to the ICE extravaganza at Gaylord Palms. This consists of 2 million lbs. of ice sculptures and Christmasy fun...Boog decided it wasn't fun! He cried, fussed, yelled, screamed, and pretended he was 2 years old the entire time. Meanwhile, being that we were actually there to celebrate my sister's birthday, we decided to stay thinking Boog would eventually come around. Nope.

Today he slept in, still sleeping when I left for work. This morning I was notified by The Mother that he is sneezing, coughing, and his nose is running. Poor kid has a cold and we dragged him around all day through 9 degree temperatures...oh yeah, and he's only one!

Oh well. Hopefully we don't have to cancel our Thanksgiving plans which include dinner at the beach with my mother's family and two nights in a cabin style hotel. Worst case scenario, we stay home and watch free HBO all weekend...hmmm, perhaps this cold thing isn't so bad afterall.

Baby Proton

2006-11-13T09:56:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, Jack got to spend the day at Downtown Disney watching his Aunt Sunny in concert in front of Virgin Megastore. The boy must have walked 30 miles, darting inbetween legs, wheelchairs, seeing eye dogs, and children in stollers for about 4 hours during the concert/art festival. He seemed to be the only one year old out of a chair the entire day. At some point during hour 3 it dawned on us that we might need to give the poor boy a nap and a bottle. He ate the bottle but refused to nap so we returned for more walking. That kid can move! Where do babies get all that energy? I think if we hooked all the babies in the world up to some sort of energy capturing device, baby treadmills perhaps, we could solve the world's energy crisis and then some!

Democrats Take Control...of what, I don't know

2006-11-08T08:32:00.000-05:00

The message was clearly sent yesterday that the US is not happy with W and his cronies. Well, at least that is the way it is being interpreted.

I must say it feels good to know that W is not going to get anything accomplished off his How To Turn The World Into A Dude Ranch agenda for the next 2 years.

Problem is, either will the Democrats. W will veto everything, Dems will cry, and the rest of us will simply wish Kinky Friedman was running our lives.

Except Jack of course who apparently surprised everyone by winning the popular vote taking place in his own mind. He also successfully passed a referendum to officially make Cheerios the only food...sorry about that everyone.

VOTE

2006-11-07T09:09:00.000-05:00

DON'T FORGET TO VOTE

Don't Forget To Vote

2006-11-06T08:03:00.000-05:00

Anyone who knows me or has read this blog knows how I feel about apathy. I believe the biggest problem in this country, believe it or not, is not George W. but the apathy and ignorance of the citizens within it. I for one can say I don't always vote and do not stay as informed as I should regarding politics whether local or national. I feel I need to do better in this regard in order to uphold my responsibility as a member of the most powerful nation in the world.

That said, tomorrow is a very important day for all of us as voters. The decisions our government has made and will continue to make are directly related to who we as citizens decide to put in office. Since I've been alive, there has never been a more important election. If you think it doesn't matter, I personally feel you're wrong. The last time I heard that, our country voted in one of the most radical presidents our country has ever known despite warnings from those who predicted he was a war mongering, gay hating, Christian cowboy, with unprecedented short sightedness and zero tolerance for diversity. Need proof, look at the state of this country and the world we live in now compared to 6 years ago.

Please vote. As Americans it is the single most important and responsible thing we can do. When we don't do it, we are saying we don't care about those most directly affected by the decisions our government makes. This type of thinking has resulted in decisions being made that affect us all in more ways than just our pocketbooks. The reason our country has gotten where it has is because of apathy and ignorance.

"What's the difference anyway, politicians are all the same". This simply is not true...not all politicians want war, not all politicians are against a womens right to choose, not all politicians are against gay marriage, or for inhumane immigration reforms, or reducing taxes for the rich, or allowing for education to spiral out of control, or running our government like Enron. If you need help deciding who believes in what and what a politicians platform and just as important what they've actually done in terms of voting records and the like, you can visit www.vote-smart.org.

For one day out of the year, tomorrow, put down your remote control, shut down blogger, turn off your IPod, cancel your yoga class, skip your nap, turn off Oprah(who will likely be telling you to vote), whatever it takes to get to your polling place. If you aren't registered, get registered tomorrow instead of voting and be sure to vote next time. Sitting there means you don't care. Even if you don't care for yourself...please care for the rest of the world and those who will inherit it that can't vote, like Jack.

Go through your address book on your cell phone and computer and call/e-mail everyone you know. Tell them how much it would mean to you if they vote on Tuesday. If they don't know where to vote, help them find their polling place.

The Monster Visits For Halloween

2006-10-27T11:19:00.000-04:00

Jack went to a new pediatrician today for a flu shot. Once again, Susie was forced to go it alone, as seems to be the case when bad news is given.

Jack apparently screemed as most babies do for his shot. The bad news however is that Jack's rate of head growth has once again jumped. You may remember that it had previously tapered off. Head size is of course not the concern. I don't care if he looks like a bobble head; the problem is this likely means that the cyst in his head has increased in size and therefore increases the chance of pressure on the brain. As you might expect this can cause many problems, including those that we notice all the time or it could cause no problems (doctors look at extreme symptoms only despite all descriptive data I have looked at collected by parents indicating a myriad of suggested issues).

As you may have gathered through this blog or conversations with Susie and I or actual time spent with Jack, he is quite a moody little guy. However, in brief periods of time, 3, 4, or 5 hours, he usually does well, especially when others are around. Looking at others with babies Jack's age, I often find myself saying, we could never do that with Jack or he would never sit still that long and so on. Some of this I'm sure is normal but right now it doesn't feel that way.

At times we have thought Jack was getting sick only to find that nothing manifested into a cold or anything of the sort. Is it possible he has been having headaches as this is commonly associated with arachnoid cysts? Is it possible this is why Jack was pulling at his hair above the location of the cyst just a few days back? Is it possible that Jack has trouble sleeping lately as late as he was due to increased cranial pressure which I've read is likely to increase when lying down? Is it possible that Jack's left eye which is slightly lazy is due to the effects of the cyst on his brain? Who the hell knows? If I had to guess I would think the answer is yes.

I think I have long felt that Jack has been such a difficult baby due to some other reason besides personality. Further, Susie and I have relatively good coping skills with most life problems we face, but we seemingly are only average at coping with our baby boy, often not seeming to enjoy things or cope as well as others we know. I'm beginning to think this is due to Jack being a bit more unpredictable and possibly just simply not feeling as well as most kids a great deal of his life thus far.

I sent out a request for other peoples experiences with parenting a baby and only got one reply aside from Susie. Probably just as well since I think we are playing a whole different ballgame here.

Once again we are in the hands of the unknown. Once again I'm feeling helpless. Once again I just want to go home and hug my baby boy.

I do feel everything will be fine. I just wish that I could know that Jack isn't experiencing migraines and that his eye isn't drooping from brain pressure and that he won't have to go through brain surgery, EVER.

Sick And Tired

2006-10-23T11:33:00.000-04:00

Okay...I had written along rant about our weekend and how difficult Jack was and how hard our life is and how I'm sooooo tired and then, I erased it. I don't want to complain.

What I do want is some honest antecdotal opinions about what YOU think about being the parent of a baby. I don't want the sugar coated answers like, "it's all worth it", or, "it's hard but could be worse", or "each time I look in her eyes all the difficult stuff just goes away". I want the truth. Do you like your life as a parent of a baby? Not, do you like your baby or would you rather have your old life back. I for one would never even remotely consider giving up my life now for my old life and assume most of you wouldn't either. But, that does not mean I enjoy the grind of parenting a baby. I'm attempting to navigate through this myth that being a parent of a baby is some magical, ridiculously fulfilling time period. When, in my experience, it's a motherload of work and a roller coaster of emotions.

Quite honestly, I can't wait until the babyhood is over and the kiddom begins. Let me hear you out there in blogville. What do you really think about it? Again, please don't say any cliches, like, "you'll miss it when it's gone". I'm looking for real experiences, feelings in the moment, not wisdom and realizations after the fact. I already miss Jack's littleness but I certainly don't miss the colic days and never want those back despite many saying that I would.

By the way...if you can't already tell...Susie and I are the proud parents of an extremely loved and wonderful ONLY CHILD!!!

Men--support a good one

2006-10-17T14:16:00.000-04:00

You might think by the title, another rant is coming. Well, not this time. Many of you know I don't think very highly of my breathren. Not because of something I read or something I learned in Multicultural Class 101, although that did help me make sense of "it" many years back. My aversion has been created through experiences.

Well there is hope! A man who gets "it" is hard to come by. I mean, one who understands "it", his relationship to "it", and, who attempt to not contribute to "it", and, in some rare cases actually sets out to do something about "it". If you don't know what "it" is then you probably don't get "it" and, well, I guess this entry isn't for you...especially if you are dying to substitute "it" with the name of a female body part or something sexually related or some other word that immediately proves my point.

Recently, a man whom I worked with in a limited capacity quit his job, took a new international/humanitarian job, and relocated to the Gaza Strip to help those in need. I thought he seemed to get "it" in my brief experiences with him at work. Unfortunately, I didn't know for sure until he was gone. He's not out to save the world I don't think but he is out to make a difference and do his part to make it a better place.

You can visit his blog as the link is located in the side bar to the left under My Favorite Blog of the week.

You can also visit the organization he is working for by clicking on the following link and donate to this worthy cause:
JumpStart International

Big Night Out!!!

2006-10-12T12:54:00.000-04:00

Susie and I are going out tomorrow night to see a concert!!! Yes, it's true! We have not been out at night by ourselves in months. I think it has been since March on our anniversary. We haven't been out at all since last month without Jack.

We haven't been to a real concert since we saw The Pixies in 2004. The ironic thing I guess is that we are going to see Frank Black...the lead singer of The Pixies and one of my all time favorites but more for his solo stuff.

Honestly, I'd be excited if we were going to see Conway Twitty (why him, I don't know). I'm just happy we're going out! Lookout world...we're going to get wild on Friday night. Details to be kept secret until death.

Choices

2006-10-11T10:51:00.000-04:00

Senator McCain is throwing blame at Clinton for the current problems in international affairs, namely with Iraq and North Korea. This seems to be the strategy of the Republican Party at large as they prepare to lose the White House to Hillary in 2008.

Fact is, McCain plans more of the same. He believes our foreign policies are currently the correct ones. What? Have you seen the state of the world right now? Bill Clinton agrees that he was unable to come up with solutions to the problems on several fronts internationally, however, he was actively attempting to work on these. Talks were happening with North Korea. Madeline Albright actually visited Pyongyang. Further, negotiations were on the table throughout.

If we want to play the game of who dropped the ball we could probably keep going back generations and generations of presidents. Did Bush's father solve the middle east problems or the issues in North Korea? What about Reagan, Carter, and so on? Obviously not. These are problems that are decades and in some cases centuries old. It cannot be denied that these problems have gotten worse and in some cases been mishandled disproportionately to past administrations over the past 6 years.

It is clear that our current policies are alienating us from the rest of the world and further endangering our freedoms rather than doing what they claim...protecting them. We certainly are less safe today than before Bush came to office 6 years ago, before we attacked Iraq, and before we developed blanket policies of "do it our way or suffer the consequences". Are we trying to make the regions of the world that already despise our wealth and power hate us even more by contributing to the killing over 1/2 a million people with no tangential purpose to a just cause. Who the hell do we think we are?

Protecting human rights is certainly a just cause but attacking sovereign nations because of made up links to terrorist attacks and sighting weapons that don't exist is not conducive to quelling tensions or even stopping a cycle of hatred and violence.

Where are the people that think we are in a good position today as a nation from a safety standpoint? Who thinks that what we are doing is a "good idea" or helping? Who actually believes that these policies are working? Republican candidates apparently!

New Anti Smoking Slogan--Lookout Nancy Reagan

2006-10-10T13:46:00.000-04:00

"Smoke Cigarettes, Stink Like Poop"
Written by a 3rd grader to remain anonymous in case this catches on and I can reap the royalties from t-shirts, hats, commercials, etc...

Kids don't care if your lungs turn black. As soon as the picture of black lungs is taken away they forget. They don't see black lungs on those who smoke in front of them. Kids don't care about cancer...they think they're going to live forever.

Kids DO care about being called stinky, gross, or smelly. Kids DO care if everyone views smoking as a disgusting, dirty habit.

Therefore, if you want kids to not smoke, make it incredibly, socially undesirable. One of my 3rd graders compared smoking to marinating your body in poop for however long you smoke. You can't get it out of your clothes, furniture, car, hair, skin, etc...this based on living with parents who smoke, a lot...not sure how he knows what happens if you marinate in poop?

Kids don't want to be socially undesirable so sorry smokers but the only way to teach my munchkins not to smoke is to make you out to be gross, disgusting and slovenly. I guess you better quit before they see you and say, "ewww".

One kid shared her grandmother quit at 67 and has been smoke free for two years. Way to go grandma. Hope for my in-laws.

Things That Jack Likes Now !!!

2006-10-04T08:05:00.000-04:00

1. Playing monster where we chase him while making monster noises and he pretends to try and get away but purposely comes close enough to be caught

2. Sitting in front of the open screen door and watching planes go by over head while waving bye-bye to them

3. Watching Susie or I talk on the phone...he likes to hear us in our regular voices it seems rather than our baby voices...I don't blame him...my baby voice annoys the crap out of me on video tapes to the point I have tried to stop talking on them

4. Taking long walks while saying ducka-ducka-ducka just like Dr. Evil

5. Anything outside

6. Watching The Peewee Herman Show, Teletubbies, and Sesame Street, especially Elmo

7. Playing catch with a tennis ball in the garage while sitting in his stroller listening to old tapes of Nine Inch Nails, Seal, Sting, Lenny Kravitz, Pink Floyd, and Zeppelin, ending with The Cure and maybe The Smiths, if he's not too tired.

8. Any and all playgrounds even though he's still too young to actually do anything there...he flips out with excitement whenever he spots a conglomerate of slide/ladder/primary colors/swings.

9. Chasing the cat, Zip, and saying her name...until she wacks him with her clawless paw

George W. Bush

2006-10-03T09:35:00.000-04:00

To those that voted for George W. Bush,

The majority of those that voted for this man as our president are now saying that they disapprove of him, his handling of the war in Iraq, his handling of the issues in New Orleans, his handling of basically everything on the international front, and his handling of the immigration issue.

What I don't understand is how anyone is surprised by this. He has acted very predictably in my opinion. His history smells profusely of ignorance and short sightedness. I won't go into it now but there are plenty of books and research to illustrate this.

Fact is, Bush manifested a rationale for a war on FALSE pretenses. There is no disputing this. He lied to everyone & continues to do so. Read Bob Woodwards's new book if you don't believe me...he's one of the most respected journalists of our time and he says so. Or, listen to one of several generals who have come out against Bush's policy on the war.

Bush told us, despite knowing that there was no evidence of WMD's, that we must invade Iraq to make the world a safer place. He proceeded to invade even though the rest of the world disagreed aside from his buddy, Blair. How are we safer after destroying a country that, by the way already hated us for many complex systemic reasons, killing their women and children and men, all in the name of WMD's only to admit that they had none to begin with? Oh, and by the way, we knew that from the start. Is it me or is there a bit of basic logic missing here? You can't get out of your car at a stop light and beat the hell out of the person tailgating you in your car, along with his wife and children and then say, "Sorry officer but he had a gun, oh, and he tailgates me every day". Only to result in the officer searching in the car to find no gun and no reason for you to attack the man and the innocent others in the car. Results of such actions would undoubtedly result in the family and friends of the family attacked being outraged and for good reason. Even if everyone agreed the tailgaiter was a bad man. If we did this in dealing with tailgating as a rule, well you can imagine the chaos that would ensue having very little to do with ideals and values and everything to do with don't kill my family or I'll kill yours. Where would it stop? Yes, Saddam was dangerous but who decided Bush could eliminate all the dangerous people in the world? How do we as a country allow him to get away with this? How do you and I sit and simply look the other way while he lies to us? How do we not hold him and others in government accountable for not looking at the bigger picture? The Islamic world already had many problems with us; some based in history and some based in radical beliefs, we know that. Didn't this just make the matters millions of times worse?

I agree that lying is all too common in politics these days but in most cases thousands of people are not killed. Further, most lies don't lead to the rest of the world being given thousands more reasons to hate us. As if being the most powerful country in the world, exploiting other countries for cheap labor, supporting corrupt governments, and colluding with those that support OUR agenda was not enough fodder for others to hate us already.

Bush is incredibly devisive. He has done more to pull Americans apart along party lines than anyone in my lifetime, probably since Vietnam or even McCarthyism. He is incredibly arrogant and often ignorant on how he impacts the way the world perceives our country. Example, stuffing rolls in your mouth at the U.N. while talking to a head of state and talking about foreign affairs the way you would about your neighbors poor parenting skills is simply not becoming of the leader of the world. Ignorant to the effect this has on the world's perception of us. Like it or not, others perceive America directly by the way our leaders behave. This is true all the way down to the minute details of how they greet them. Most people generalize about larger groups from their experiences of individuals members of those groups. This may be a generalization error in logic but it is also human nature. Therefore, the world thinks we all act, think, and behave the way our world leaders think. This is especially true of countries being treated poorly by us either by corporate exploitation, sanctions resulting in death of their children, and, more directly, when we attack them with troops.

Bush doesn't care about what others think. Period. He's said so. Like a parent who makes a decision in their family and simply explains it to their kid as "because I said so". That usually doesn't work well in the long run in parenting and it certainly doesn't work well in world politics. He thinks that praying to a Christian God allows him to speak for the world on what is right and wrong. He seems to think that his values are Americas values and, much worse, that his ways of enforcing these values are immune to debate or criticism. He seems to think that the popular opinion is simply misguided and incapable of understanding what he understands. If you disagree with him, you are somehow un-American or simply don't understand the issues. Why aren't we all insulted by this? Why don't we care? Fact is, it will have an impact on our lives for a long time and especially our children's lives. When I'm old, we will talk about what if Bush never became president. How would the world have been a better place? I guarantee it and I sincerely hope we can say that we made some good decisions following this fiasco.

One mark of a great leader and a great human being, in my opinion, is their ability to accept when they are wrong and make changes when necessary. If you voted for Bush, please take responsibility for your choice as he certainly is not taking responsibility for his. It is our responsibility to make sure that all of the problems Bush has created are corrected. Stop acting surprised and/or apathetic. If you voted for him based on character only or simply voted against his opposition due to personality (because he resembled Frankenstein or because he was monotone), don't make this mistake again. Vote on what a person's done and what their position on issues are not simply whether or not they seem like they would tell good stories around the campfire. If you are simply complacent or actually happy with the results than, well, quite frankly, you scare the hell out of me and hopefully there aren't too many of you out there.

The only way this turns around is if we all decide not to think this is the way the world is. It isn't the way the world is, it's the way our leaders that we have voted into office have made our world and is directly related to our apathy as a nation and the collective ignorance within it. Most people that I know that vote, vote on personality of candidates first, their personal pocketbook second, and then hot button issues like abortion, gay marriage, etc. Start looking at the big picture. Our world is imploding and it is our responsibility to stop it. The majority of the problems in our world today exist systemically and are socially constructed. If we all do our part to understand these issues from a systemic perspective, it will serve us better as voters and in the long run, as human beings.

Those that vote on their pocketbook first, conservative Republicans take note here, are often voting for the same people that have led us into this debacle. You likely won't even begin to understand what I have written here and will simply dismiss it as liberal drivel...which has become a way for people to basically say, I don't care about anyone else, just give me my money, my cheeseburgers, and Coke's and well, your money too, good luck to the rest of you, it's not my problem.

Sincerely,

One person who wants a world free of ignorance and it's #1 spokesman, Dublya

Great Weekend

2006-10-02T08:37:00.000-04:00

Jack had his first ever GREAT weekend. By this I mean he whined when appropriate, nap times, bed times, head banging times, etc. The rest of the time he played and had fun with us, his parents. This weekend Jack went to his girlfriend's birthday party and played outside on a blanket after a long walk in much cooler weather. Jack took long naps and slept through the night all weekend as well. Yipppeee! Soon we will really put him to the test with a road trip to Miami. I guess we just like to torture ourselves.

Side note: Thank God Jack had a good weekend as it was the worst football weekend ever with the Dolphins and Hurricanes both looking horrid. I'm actually beginning to hate football. What's happening to me?

Paper sucks!

2006-09-29T10:25:00.000-04:00

I hate paperwork. Right now, at work, after training a group of "good kids" to give tours to new students and then deescalating an angry little boy who is basically homeless and wearing pants he thinks are embarrasing and wanting to punch everyone and everything that crosses his path, I have finally had a chance to breathe. I'm sitting at my desk staring at a mountain of paperwork. My weeks have become so busy I don't have time to even make a dent in the pile of paperwork that only counselors and maybe those in government jobs could possibly understand.

Anyway, paperwork is my nemesis. I've always had a problem with it. When I counsel a kid, which I do for a living for those of you that don't know, I have to fill out anywhere from 3 to 6 pieces of paper on that mtg alone. Multiply this times several mtg's with kids per day and well you can see how it begins to stack up. Then throw in all the other beaurocratic b.s. paperwork and, you get the picture. Mountainous.

Imagine a world with NO paperwork. A world with crystal clear streams of spring water, birds chirping from the tree tops, and fresh, homemade blueberry muffins, still warm from the oven with real butter...imagine it and then come back to reality. Time to do paperwork! Of course, some kid will fly through my office door at any minute, screaming that so and so wrote that his mother is fat on the bathroom wall above the urinal. I'll tell him to write, "that's not true", next to it. 6 more pieces of paper. Maybe I'll just let it continue to pile up and quit when someone asks me to do it? Who invented paper anyway...hmmmm, papyrus, Egyptians I think...I hate Egyptians!!!

It's All Relative

2006-09-25T08:44:00.000-04:00

This weekend, Susie and I did the usual. Doctor's appointment on Saturday with shots. Jack barfed on Susie at bedtime. We cleaned up barf and ate dinner...one after the other.

Next day, I woke up at 5:30 and laid in bed, sleep deprived, waiting for the one year old to awaken with his bruised legs and fever. He awoke at 6:45 as expected. We walked to Wal-Mart for entertainment only to head back to our cave due to extreme heat despite officially beginning fall. Jack had two 30 minute naps all day getting crankier as the day progressed. I dragged around all day feeling ridiculously tired and didn't hardly mutter a word. Susie cleaned and attempted to entertain Jack while I felt sorry for myself, as another grueling work week readied to begin again. Jack went to bed only to awaken a half an hour later right as we sat down to eat Sunday night dinner at around 8:00pm. Screaming hysterically and very high pitched apparently due to his aquarium-crib-attachment-thing falling to the floor, he decided not to go back to sleep.

Two hours later, Jack was sleeping and Susie and I scarfed down dinner and went to bed. Official weekend status report...sucky!

On the other hand, at work today, within two hours of getting here, I met with one kid who had been choked by his father, discussed with another kid about how he and his family are in need of housing assistance due to being evicted as his father is addicted to drugs and does not have a job and his mother abandoned them in the middle of the night two years ago with no warning or goodbye, and another kid who's father went to prison for domestic violence. It could be worse, much, much worse.

I'm lucky, even when my weekend is, "sucky".

Jack got some toys and I got a lesson in life

2006-09-18T09:24:00.000-04:00

I realize that all the values I ever had and Susie ever had or wanted that we now have control over have become the way Susie and I want our family to be. Like most families, we want Jack to be raised with these values too.

Change happens when you have a baby...it's inevitable. One way I've changed is that all the values I ever had that I teetered back and forth with have suddenly become solid. For example, on a more salient level, violence on t.v. is suddenly much worse and it is apparent that this is not okay to have on around Jack. Yes, that means we turn the chanel if Jack is in the room and Kill Bill is on.

On a less obvious level, suddenly there will not be a football game on my television during my son's birthday party. I know to some this is a shock but it comes from wanting to teach my son about priorities and the importance of being present with those you truly care about. When Jack's older and decides, "for my birthday I want to have a party with the football game on", then that is fine. However, I don't want him to be sitting with his girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever kind of friend, someday and turning a football game on in the middle of the person's party he is simultaneously saying he cares about. I want him to want to be in the moment with whomever he allegedly cares about.

For those of you who weren't at the birthday party this weekend, you probably are wondering what the hell I'm talking about. Basically, I'm explaining why I didn't want the Miami Hurricane football game on in the background of my son's birthday.

Short answer: I wanted the day to be about Jack.

Long answer: see above and...Jack will be raised to SHOW that he cares about those he supposedly cares about. For years I had trouble being intimate with others...saying I cared and much less showing I cared. This caused me tremendous pain in relationships and caused me to miss out on experiences being more fulfilling than they were. I don't want that for Jack. I want Jack to know how to say I Love You by looking someone in the eyes, by being in the moment with them, and by doing it over and over again without discomfort. Further, I don't want him to be confused like I was. I know this sounds ridiculously mushy and not very "manly". Who the hell cares! Life is better when you can truly BE with those you love...whether it be family, friends, or complete strangers.

As a man, my experiences lead me to believe that I am not the only man that has struggled with being intimate with others. I don't mean the bedroom kind of intimacy where most of us try to overcompensate expressing how much we care in the wrong setting by "making love to you baby". Most of my male friends gowing up and now don't say much about what they like about each other. They probably do this with the women they love but they typically, in my experience, don't even do this with each other about the women they love. In fact, often it's the opposite. They pretend to not care as much, "old ball and chain", or "whatever she says I just do it", "she's the boss". Unfortunately, many of them have crappy relationships with their significant others with no real intimacy either. While this is certainly not a blanket theory as not all men are this way, I do feel that our society in general rewards men for being less intimate at least with superficial rewards like power over and with other men and "bagging chicks"...visit any college campus any day of the week if you don't agree with me. Or, allow me to tape a conversation behind closed doors between any group of men. Trust me, the conversation will 90% of the time indicate less than stellar results on the intimacy scale.

This is precisely why I want to try and raise Jack this way. I know the football game seems trivial but to me it's not. It's a subtle lesson in priorities and what truly matters.

I think that we get very few opportunities to make meaning in our lives. One way we do this is by having truly intimate relationships with others. In the end, this is one of just a few ways by which we measure happiness. Hopefully, Jack will be very happy someday and if I can help facilitate that by not playing a football game at his b-day party than, yipppee!!!

If not, oh well. At least I tried. In the end, it's only important that Jack knows that his mother and I feel this way. He will decide to accept or reject this value. He will also need to cope with all of those, the majority of people in my experience, that don't hold this value or at the very least don't uphold it.

Jack will never be confused about who or what comes first when it comes to his dad...you do buddy!

Happy Birthday Jacky

2006-09-15T08:14:00.000-04:00

The boy is ONE! Well not until 10:01am officially.

This morning Susie and I woke up and went into Jack's room, armed with rolling video camera, and sang a tired version of Happy Birthday to the birthday boy. Then I was forced to rush out the door to work while listening to Jack's big boy laugh whilst his mother sang, "It's your birfday".

Now at work and writing this blog, I can't help but get a bit choked up thinking about the year we've had with our little boy. I remember the post-birth room, changing Jack's first diaper in the dark, freezing in the hospital with no way to turn the air conditioner up, lanugo, formula chaos, the first time Jack ate solids, the first time he ate spaghetti, laughing hysterically while he belly laughed about his walker, laying on the floor with Jack when only a couple weeks old and listening to the Beatles, wrapping Jack nearly every night for like 4 months so he would sleep a bit better, an incredible amount of screaming, dock walks, doctor appointments and tests, the 1st Holidays, troubleshooting with Jack's mother when confused 99% of the time, crying and laughing with Jack's mother when confused 99% of the time, the first tooth and the 7 that followed, bathtime with the Frogpond Wizard, playing monster in the afternoons, more screaming, the first smiles and laughs, the first talking sounds, first words mama, dada, and cat, long walks at 5am, Jack's first concert...The Knack, swimming in the Lake Crest pool, quietly watching him sleep, getting him out of the crib in the mornings while he laughed in excitement, but, most of all, I remember the overwhelming feeling of knowing that my son was going to be okay.

Jack, you make every day meaningful for me. You are an inspiration to me, a great memory and dream at the same time, and you fill me with hope about every part of my life and the world.

At this moment, you are probably at home getting ready to eat your breakfast with your mom and I am here thinking of you counting the minutes to come home with you and begin your birthday weekend. Happy Birthday baby boy...I hope you have a lifetime of feeling the way your mother and I feel when with you.

Love, Dad

Now I must hide in my office and cry all day until I get to go home.

Another JOB

2006-09-11T11:39:00.000-04:00

Not Job, as in the Bible, although sometimes I feel like that. I mean, I have another job now. For some reason it did not really hit home that I would be working two jobs until today. Until now, The Homework Club has simply been a plan or idea. Yeah, it's been a lot of work already but it hasn't been a job per se. Today is the actual grand opening with REAL paying customers. Now it's a job. It's very important to me that the kids have fun there but even more important that they achieve what there parents are paying for them to achieve, so I feel a tremendous sense of responsibility. We'll see how it goes today. Cross your fingers for me or whatever superstition tends to work for you.

As far as Jack goes...I nearly cried the other day when I came to the REALIZATION that he is almost one. I didn't even see it coming. I mean suddenly when talking to my mother about him crawling in cake on the big day, I realized it is going to be quite emotional. Also, I know that if I cry, Susie will be filling buckets.

The Homework Club

2006-09-07T08:32:00.000-04:00

So far so good. We have 3 people who have signed their kids up for the entire month! We have not advertised other than a few flyer's and signs in the adjacent dance studio so we are pleased thus far. Saturday I plan to put on my used car salesman suit and start aggressively pulling people in if possible. Eventually we will hit the neighborhoods with flyers and advertise in the local papers but the idea is to start small so we can work the bugs out.

I have to admit, because of my sharp aversion to failure, this has been very difficult from an ego standpoint. If things fall apart I will be very disappointed but will get over it. On the other hand, I'm not going to let it fail. I will literally go door to door until I find some kids who need help.

This is the first time I've ever made money on something I (and Susie) created. It's very rewarding to get acknowledgement that other's are interested in your ideas no matter how simple they are. Further, it's empowering to make money out of nothing...I'm used to making money for others and getting paid a little out of the whole lot. I loathe working FOR others and love the prospect of working for myself and especially in a partnership with my favorite person (Suebaby)

With regard to Jack, it's hard to leave in the morning at 7am and get home at almost 9pm. I won't see him at all 2 full days and nights per week. It does, however, make the time I do get with him on the days Susie works late that much better. Susie and I will also miss each other at least 4 nights a week which is also difficult.

However, when we are working for ourselves and taking yearly trips to Europe, I think it will all seem quite worth it.

Busy, Busy

2006-08-28T08:13:00.000-04:00

After a relaxing weekend with Susie's parents, it's almost time for our grand opening!

My in-laws, Dee and Brad, were in town for the weekend. We hadn't seen them since December at Christmas so it was a well overdue visit. We had a great time sharing Jack with them and they seemed to love staring at him, playing with him, laughing with him, and even his newfound high pitched scream. It was nice to get some pictures and memories with someone outside of my family for a change. They both love Jack very much and it was great to watch them show it in person. I know Jack had fun with them too.

Moving on, September 5th is opening day for The Homework Club. The carpet is in, the books and supplies are in, but everything is laying on the floor as there is no furniture, decorations, curtains, etc. So, we will have our hands full for the next week trying to prepare in what looks like will be our first hurricane of the season.

If you don't hear from us or we seem like we've dropped off the face of the earth as many of you already think we have; you know where we'll be.

New Homework Club website address if your interested: www.raskinhomeworkclub.com

Conner--You are truly missed

2006-08-22T13:19:00.000-04:00

A very good friend of mine gave me some very bad news yesterday. He informed me that he and his wife had lost their baby boy, Conner. He died the day after delivery due to severe complications.

I have never been in that position before but, as a parent, I know it must be among the most difficult things anyone could ever deal with.

Conner had great parents that he only got to know for a few moments. He died in his fathers arms who I know loved him very much.

Conner you may have only been alive for short time but you are truly missed. We are thinking of you and your family.

Slowly but surely...

2006-08-16T08:28:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, Jack turned 11 months. According to his mother he had a great day, all day long. He ate big people food, played, napped well and did great right up until going to bed.

I went to the grocery store for an hour, came back, and said to Susie, "Today seemed almost too good to be true". She agreed and we both sort of moved on. I thought to myself, I bet he wakes up in the middle of the night just to remind us who's boss.

Fast forward to 12am. Jack wakes up screaming. We both wake up assuming that it's 6am and time to get up. Simultaneously we look at the clocks and notice, it's midnight! Susie goes to change the diaper and I headed downstairs to make a bottle. Jack proceeds to eat the entire bottle and then it's back to the crib where he falls asleep immediately.

I then lay in the bed for the next hour and a half...then I wake again to Jack whining in the crib at about 5:30am. I head to his room thinking, need more sleepy. I throw some toys in and turn his musical bird projector on and head back to bed. I have every intention of getting back up for good in 15 minutes. Somewhere in there I fall back asleep and, get this, so does Jack!

Later, while getting ready to leave for work, Jack wakes up at 7:15! Your still in charge Jack, but we're taking over! Slowly but surely...

Birthday invites to be sent out this weekend...clear your calendars 9/16 in the afternoon...baby party in St.Cloud.

Roadtrip and College

2006-08-14T12:29:00.000-04:00

Jack went to college on Saturday. We stopped by my alma mater while on our way to a baby shower in the Tampa area. I told Jack not to go to a state school as they are just degree manufacturing machines but he just ignored me. He said he would go where he wants...as long as he goes to college, I guess I'm fine with that.

The trip to Tampa was experimental as it was the longest time Jack has spent in the car. He was great all day. In fact, I felt like we should do something special for him. That is until the trip back home. Baby screaming on I-4 after a day in the heat, with heaps of driving, and baby showering, is a true test in patience. Let's put it this way, the next day I felt like I was injured. My body hurt and I felt like laying in the bed all day which of course did not happen. Jack's grade for road tripping, a resounding B+...sorry Jack...would have been an A but that scream has already made me a little bit looney tunes and you just about freaked me out when it sounded like you threw up in your carseat from screaming so much. Not a good sound when you can't see your baby!

Next test, Miami. Within the next month hopefully. If you pray, we will need your prayers, if you don't we will need your money.

No More MRI's For 6 months

2006-08-10T08:25:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, Jack had his 3rd visit to the neurosurgeon, Dr. Trumble. Susie met me there, Jack in tow at about 3pm, as I arrived from work. Jack was very good while waiting, talking to all the kids with large or oddly shaped heads like himself. It was a meeting of the mysterious minds if you will.

By 4pm we were done with the appointment with good news. Trumble informed us that there was no change in the status of the cyst or fluid accumulation. Therefore, the plan is to follow up in 6 months to check on it again.

The appointment went well overall. Although, it was very hard to look at images, Trumble shows us the films from the MRI's each time and reviews what we are seeing, of Jack's so-called abnormal brain. Basically, when looking at it, it appears that part of the parietal hemisphere is missing. In fact, it is likely simply misshapen. It has either grown around a fluid filled sac (the cyst) or there is no cyst at all and the brain is just oddly shaped. According to Trumble, we may never know. The only way we would know is if there is a change in the way the brain looks or they actually operate and open the skull which will only happen if there are changes in the size of the cyst or shape of the brain.

So, the monster eludes us once again. It's hard to see something in your baby's head that isn't "normal". It's hard not to know what this actually holds for his future. In the end, however, it's great to know he's doing so well now. Hopefully, we never know why or what is in there.

Dr. Trumble, by the way, is the best. He always appears to have time for us despite a full waiting room. He's very attentive and sensitive to our situation, despite having done brain surgery earlier in the day that may have saved someone's life. He sends us a copy of his case note via e-mail after each visit allowing us to keep a record of what he has told us and what is in Jack's patient record. Also, each of the rooms in his practice has a theme (Batman Room, Dora The Explorer Room, Finding Nemo Waiting Room, etc.). Jack loves the themes.

Thanks Trumble, for making this more than crappy experience a great deal better than it would be and probably is for many others!

Peek A Boo with the Monster

2006-08-05T15:55:00.001-04:00

So yesterday was a long day. Thursday, Susie went to work and I took the day off. Jack and I played all day, going to the park, to visit the grandparents, to the library, and we crawl raced for hours. A great day with very little fussiness and lots of smiley, laughing Jack. When Jack's happy, daddy's happy!

Then, the next morning Susie and I woke up to Iggy Pop's Lust For Life on the alarm at 5:30am. We got dressed, woke up the bug, fed him, packed him up, and headed to Orlando in separate cars, a 30 minute drive nowadays. Jack laughed, talked and sang the whole way in my car.

Then we got to the hospital where we were schedule in 5 minutes to check-in and the parking garage was full...at 7am! After splitting up, Susie and I finally found spaces and met up inside after figuring out where each of us were. It wouldn't be a medical procedure without some chaos. Then we checked in...Jack all the while smiling, laughing, and talking.

We checked in and were brought to the Radiology Unit and sat in the lobby. The room, which has grown quite familiar at this point, began to bring back a great deal of bad memories. Some of the memories directly related to Jack and the monster in his head and some of the memories related to the trauma victims and other children we had seen in the radiology unit over the past several visits. Finding Nemo, as always, was playing on the big screen tv in the lobby which will forever be synonymous with cysts and head injuries for the rest of my life.

After 15 minutes, time enough for me to develop a case of stress tummy, Jack was called back. Susie and I already had decided I would go back with him as only one of us could go and I expressed a stong desire to be the one leaving the door open for her if she chose. She readily indicated it was fine if I went.

Walking back, I remembered the first time we had come and I had gone alone with Jack into the CT Scan. I remembered how little he was. This time was different. He was aware of where we were it seemed and also appeared a bit scared, grasping my shirt. I pretended to be jovial, holding him tight, but laughing and kissing him.

We got back to the MRI room and the tech checked everything out. It was nice to know there would be no anesthesia or dye injected into the bug this time but I wasn't prepared or even aware of what would transpire. Here's what followed...I had to wear a vest for radiation protection that resembled a flack jacket seen on CNN by war correspondents, Jack had to lie on a table with his head between two braces, I was informed I could try and feed him while in the machine if I could reach, headphones were placed over Jack's ears due to the loud noises I was warned would follow and I was given earplugs. Within 5 minutes, the tech was ready to go and placed the headphones on Jacks ears. Until then Jack just looked confused. Now he was screaming. I held his arms down as he attempted to remove the straps that were holding him in place while continuing to cry. I tried the bottle but knew there was no way this was going to happen. I decided to focus on looking calm and smiling at Jack. Suddenly the table he layed on moved back into the magnetic tunnel and stopped at just the point where Jack was almost out of reach. I leaned in and held his arms wanting to climb in and comfort him. The machine started as Jack began screaming even louder. He stopped screaming when hearing the loud banging noises and stared at my face through a mirror angled above his head so he could see out. He looked at me in a diffent way than ever before, a look of fear you never want to say on your childs face, and especially when you can't get to him. I just smiled and focused on being calm for him. After 5 minutes it was over. I unstrapped him and removed the headphones before the tech even got out. Then I picked him up and fed him his bottle as he was about 45 minutes past his normal feeding time at this point. He scarfed the bottle down hungry and needing the comfort of something safe and familiar.

Jack played and laughed the rest of the day like nothing ever happened. He's my favorite little boy in the whole world and I'm so lucky, he's ours. I hate seeing him scared but I know it's much worse for us than him, at least at this young age.

Next appointment is next week on Wednesday with the neurologist, Dr. Trumble, to review the results of the MRI. This one is in the afternoon, so I'll let everyone know the results as soon as possible that evening or the next.

Becoming A Man and Shout Outs

2006-07-31T11:31:00.000-04:00

Jack's becoming a man. He is now arguing in baby talk or possibly a mix of Japanese and German. Sometimes he argues with his toys but often it is with us, his parents. I rarely see him do it to others. He eats a ton and apparently loves turkey as he ate nearly all of the meat in my omelette yesterday.

Later this week, Jack goes for another MRI on the ole noggin. This one is much more simplistic, resembling an Xray more than an acutal MRI as far as the procedure. He doesn't have to fast either so that is much better. Next week we follow up with the neurologist and if all is well, which I fully expect it will be, we don't go back for 6 months, then one year from that, and 2 years from that.

Jack seems to be coming closer to talking and walking and is crawling his knees raw to the bone. He loves to chase the cat, look at babies, eat spaghetti, and take a bath. He also loves to take walks. He's outgrowing all of the most influential baby items like his swing, his walker, and many of his toys. He's becoming a man. Soon he'll be in college which we're saving for very slowly.

Want to send a shout out to my friend Tim and his wife Mari...their baby is still cooking and due in a couple of months. Also, a shout out to my uncle Jason and his wife Avavit who's baby is due any day now. Best of luck to you. Please do not read my blog beyond this entry. Babies are great and easy and cute and cuddly and soft and fun...all of the time and every moment is worth it and wonderful. Wink.

Jack's Ear...In The Clear

2006-07-26T12:16:00.000-04:00

Susie just called from the Dr. appt. and it appears that the ear infection which included a week of diahrea, restless sleep, and extreme crankiness has finally disappeared. I'm so happy for Jack as this has not been fun. The poor guy has been so miserable with the worst and his very first diaper rash ever due to the antibiotics and the lovely side effects that came with them. He's been doing great though, as of late, crawling everywhere. He loves to throw things and chase them while talking in Japanese. His favorite toy is this motorized hamster in a ball that rolls around the house while he chases it...we call it Hammy and he calls it fun. He gets extremely excited when seeing a baby, especially dark skinned babies (not a racist--thank God). He loves hide and seek and especially when monsters try to attack him in funny monster voices armed with zerberts. He is pulling up to stand with ease now and he even stands alone for a few seconds with no fear of falling. Probably going to walk soon...maybe by his birthday...just a month and a half away now. His favorite food seems to be spaghetti and he also seems to like yogurt but not mixed together. I think he's going to be a dancing, singing, comedian, who likes a long rant, a bit like Dennis Miller but a democrat, oh what that's me...either that or the president of planet Mercury as he is conditioning in the Florida heat and apparently this planet will be gone in the next 50 years if things keep going this way. The longest year ever is coming to an end and I still can't believe he's almost one!!! I think New Years Eve should be 9/14 (Jack's Birth Eve--maybe we could even drop a ball) as this seems more significant these days and I wouldn't mind getting a little toasty.

Support Our Troops

2006-07-24T10:28:00.000-04:00

As many of you know I'm absolutely against the war in Iraq. I attended protests prior to the war beginning and once it started while living in Houston. While I'm against the war I do support our troops. Some people with black and white thinking and blind patriotism cannot understand how this is possible. Well, it's simple. I don't believe in using our troops for senseless, needless wars. Unfortunately now that our government led by George Bush has gotten us into this war, we cannot simply pick up and leave. This means our troops (families and friends) will continue to senselessly be put in harms way for no purpose whatsoever. Iraq will spiral out of control eventually again because the problems which led up to this event still exist. Deeper, systemic societal issues than I care to discuss here. I do believe in supporting our troops however. Therefore I am providing a link to an organization that I have become aware of that I fully trust and support. Please take the time to visit the site as it is one way you can help assist those injured and/or severely wounded that Bush and our government (war mongering republicans and spineless democrats alike) threw into a war that we shouldn't be fighting in the first place... http://www.woundedwarriorproject.org

Dill Weed

2006-07-19T18:26:00.000-04:00

Rent-A-Baby After 3PM

2006-07-17T07:54:00.000-04:00

I've decided to put Jack up for rent after 3pm 7 days a week. If interested please let me know. You should know however that when he wakes up from his nap he is likely to whine, scream, cry, and possibly even hit, scratch, or bite you. He may even poop on the floor if you make the mistake of letting him crawl around with no diaper for more than 30 seconds.

We actually had a good weekend, half of the time and a horrible weekend half of the time. Saturday morning, Jack's 10 month b-day, we went to the Osceola Flea Market. Jack seemed a bit thrown off and kind of indifferent to the experience. We then decided to drive him to sleep. He slept and we ended up in the middle of nowhere. We found a park and fed the boy whilst watching the flora and fauna bake in the 100 degree encroaching heat. We then head back from the middle of nowhere to almost somewhere (Saint Cloud) where we took Jack to a Mexican restaraunt. Jack flirted with a waitress and ate refried beans, a precursor of things to come (baby+beans=?)

We then went home where Jack pooped on the floor...not until now did I see the Mexican food connection. Then we put him down for his next nap. 30 minutes later he woke up, MAD!!! Mad he stayed, for 3 more hours. After dinner and attempts to quell him, it was time for his bath. I nearly drowned my favorite boy as he suddenly leaned forward in his baby bath chair going face down in the water. I swept him out and he screamed and coughed water as I quickly attained status as the worst parent in the house.

So, let's see, I fed the baby Mexican food leading to over 4 poops per day for 2 days and nearly drowned the boy forever scaring him and possibly resulting in a water phobia...oops!

He went to sleep. Susie went to the grocery store and in the process found out our very young neighbor and mother of two very young little girls died mysteriously of a heart attack. She found out from the woman's husband who was wandering in the yard aimlessly while police investigated. A very somber evening followed where Sue and I contemplated how to help and how lucky we are.

The next day improved but ended with the same fussy baby. My sister visited us for the first time in our new place, while Jack finished an hour and 15 minute nap, a good sign of things to come, we thought. We had a great visit with her as we went to the lakefront beach and took Jack swimming with his friends Hayden and Nicholas. Jack had a great time but apparently got a little out of sorts as he decided to throw a screaming fit in the car. Then he skipped his nap all together in the afternoon. However, he left the fussiness and played and watched his favorite video. He loves Mozart and Tchaikovsky and Yo Yo Ma (musician or perhaps music critic?) Finally, bedtime.

Susie and I laid there. Comatose. Lambasted. What a weekend! Just like every weekend...maybe we suck at this but we are exhausted every day. It seems like other parents like it a great deal more than us? Maybe Jack's more work than the average baby? Who knows?

At least we didn't drown him this weekend. I love the lil bug but he's for rent after 3pm...any takers.

I can see the light...

2006-07-14T11:08:00.000-04:00

We finally got cable hooked up and we are connected to the internet. I suppose this is like a near death experience when you suddenly see the light.

Jack woke at 4am last night at which time Susie fed him a bottle and he went back to sleep. Poor bug's little ears hurt.

This weekend we will probably continue to attempt to get rid of the ear infection, unpack and set up our new place, battle the Earwig infestation in our house(gross topic for some other time), and hopefully mix in some fun things if we can withstand the heat outside.

Happy 10 Month Birthday to Jack tomorrow!!!

Burried Alive!!!

2006-07-12T13:04:00.000-04:00

That's the only good analogy for what it feels like to move to a new town, with a baby, no cable, and no internet. However, as of yesterday, we tapped into the city internet system virtually bypassing Brighthouse. I won't get into why this is so satisfying to me but let's just say...suck it Brighthouse!

Okay, so...today Susie took Jack to the doc because we found a small lump on the back of his head towards his neck. Basically, it feels like a small cyst and is not duplicated on the other side to touch. Therefore, we were concerned. On top of this, Jack has been quite cranky at times and has run a low temperature on occasion over the past few days. He also has pulled at his ears for the past couple of weeks which we attributed to teething as we have read this is common but thought an ear infection was an outside possibility. Not wanting to be the overreacting/overprotective parents we have the capability of being we decided to wait it out and see if the pulling stopped. Especially since most literature indicates many ear infections must simply go away on their own.

We stuck with this until we found the lump. We scheduled the appointment on Monday for today and have worried about the lump for a couple of days now. Meanwhile, last night Jack threw up a very large volume of formula, black beans, bananas, baby food, and cheerios. Needless to say, this had us on edge confounding our reasons to worry. We think he just ate too much as he ate like a horse yesterday and I think his body decided, "cannot digest...too much food"...hence, throw up! And throw up he did...it just kept coming. No longer the baby puke of yesteryear, it was smelly big boy puke! We gave him a bath, Susie ran to the store for carpet cleaner, and I put him to bed after some water and a little formula. Poor baby!

Well Susie just called from the pediatrician and all is well. At least relatively. Jack has an ear infection and has been given antibiotics. The lump was a swollen lymph node due to the ear infection most likely. Poor little guy has probably had the ear infection for about 3 weeks. The problem is he's always moody...always has been since birth. Therefore, we hardly could tell if he was acting abnormal. It turns out his ear hurts. We both feel bad for taking so long to get him to the doctor. However, this was good news considering, with regard to all of his short but profound medical hx, we were ready for more cysts and tests and systemic medical woes. Alas, a light at the end of one very small tunnel.

Anyway, we are back on e-mail and will be posting on our blogs again. Sorry for being out of touch with many of you as it seems we haven't even had a chance to call lately.

Quick Update

2006-07-10T12:18:00.001-04:00

Susie and I still are unable to get our e-mail and don't have internet access at home. Jack is doing fine, teething, as usual. We are having problems getting cable and internet and don't know when this will be resolved so don't send e-mails expecting replies any time soon.

Grandparents Are Back...but not for long!!!!

2006-07-07T08:52:00.000-04:00

My parents got back after one week in Tennessee yesterday. Susie and I got our first reprieve from the boy in over a week. Our other babysitter left for New York and the up and coming sitters are not yet trained. This left us with noone to watch Jack while trying to unpack and move in...not a good combo when your baby masters the crawl.

During our 2 hours of respite, we went to dinner and walked around WalMart searching for electronic necessities. It was a very much needed 2 hours. Today my mother is watching Jack while Susie gets 4 hours. Now that we're closer to my parents, it's much easier to set up brief babysitting breaks.

Our home computer is due to be set up with internet today as we have not been able to access it yet except for at work on occassion. So, if anyone has sent an e-mail, it has not yet been read.

The week after next my parents are headed on a cruise to Russia (I think?)for two weeks. I guess we need to train the new babysitters, Jessica/Martin and Aunt Di...get ready for the most anal retentive babysitting crash course ever where I will say things like, "Don't forget, he can't drive" and "Please don't let him eat poison out of the cabinets". It's funny the things you tell people when they watch your baby even when you know they've raised babies of their own and are perfectly capable.

4th of July and Isolation

2006-07-05T12:14:00.000-04:00

Yesterday for the 4th, Susie and I struggled to keep Jack corraled. We woke up early with the Sultan who insisted on his favorite meal, The White Stuff a.k.a. baby formula. Then we went to our Village Inn...our new favorite breakfast eatery and possibly the only one.

Aside...there is no Chik-Fil-A in St. Cloud! Susie informed me along time ago she could never live in a town with no Chik-Fil-A...I hope she doesn't leave! There is also no Target...is this even possible. WalMart reigns supreme here...a true testament that we are in the country far away from civilization as we know it.

After breakfast, we took Jack to WalMart to buy a pool for the backyard and a sprinkler to sprinkle him. After shopping, we returned home. We got the pool ready, peeled Jack out of his clothes while he screamed because we were stopping him from crawling, and threw him in the pool. He immediately, without any hesitation, attempted to crawl out, successfully, into the grass. He decided that the pool was a piece of crap and the grass was of God! For 30 minutes we attempted to force him to like the pool and we created a baby firework. Finally, Susie put him on the grass, naked. This last about 30 seconds when we noticed spiders and other bugs were probably crawling up the boys haunches. Pool time ended.

The rest of the day consisted of a trip to a park where Jack was supposed to sleep but did not only to fall asleep in the car on the way to get Susie and I some lunch. After waiting, 45 minutes he finally awoke and we were able to get some lunch. Susie likes Sonic. My hope is, it replaces Chik-Fil-A so I don't wake up to an empty bed with a wet note indicating she has left for bigger and better things and bajkarrkakdrdbb forcing me to run out of the house searching St. Cloud in my scivies (reference to The Jerk).

We got back home and crawled around with Jack for a couple of hours while trying to intermittently unpack. Jack went to bed at some point. We continued to unpack until around 9pm. Then we scurried around our house, front to back, up and down the stairs, looking out windows, around corners, shouting in loud whispers to one another, "there's some", "here's some good ones", "look over there", "I think that's the finale", "no, there's more". What were we looking at? Tiny fireworks in the distance, over trees, miles away. Every ten minutes we checked on Jack thinking he might awake thinking we were under North Korean attack. He never did. In fact, by 10:30 we were in bed too.

Happy 4th everyone. Hope to see you all soon at our new house.

Jack's birthday invites to follow. Save the date: Weekend of September 15th...possible birthday party/housewarming get together.

A Little Bit Country...and mobile!

2006-07-03T08:54:00.000-04:00

We're in! Jack's crawling...big time! Jack decided to master crawling the day we began moving.

As a tumbleweed, I'm somewhat of an expert on moving. This weekends move was by far the hardest move I've ever endured!

Saturday we began loading up. Jack almost immediately decided he hated seeing things leave the house. After a couple of hours of whining progressing into screaming, Susie decided to take him to the mall. This left me to load up, by myself! For some reason, we decided not to ask anyone to help with the move. What the hell were we thinking. Part of me feels guilty for having people help and part of me simply feels like it will be easier to just do it. Well, both parts are assanine (never spelled this before)! It wasn't so bad until around noon when the heat was near 100. Susie stayed at our old place with Jack as I took the first load of stuff to the new place to unload. Still, it didn't seem so bad. However, the next load and then the following two loads on Sunday nearly killed me as I'm still at post-pregnancy weight.

Luckily, I got some help from a very persistent friend, Angie, who basically begged to help. For some strange and fortunate reason she likes moving other people's stuff! Susie and Jack moved to the new place on Sunday morning and Angie and I followed with the rest of our belongings. As Jack continued to be freaked out by the changes, his desire to crawl around a house full of danger and the polar opposite of childproof continued.

It took two days to make the place somewhat baby friendly but it's much better now. Jack seems to have adjusted and is now pulling himself up to stand and gliding side to side. It's seems like he's been crawling for months as he hawls ass at this point. Way to go Jack!

Saint Cloud, Here We Come !!!

2006-06-27T11:34:00.000-04:00

This weekend we will be moving into our new condo in St.Cloud.

Pros:

Our condo is bigger and brand new with all brand new appliances.
Our new condo has carpeted stairs allowing Jack to practice climbing.
We will be within 5 minutes of our, non-existent as of yet, new business.
We will be within 5 minutes of the Florida Turnpike for heading north/south to escape
We are within 30 minutes of the East Coast beaches.
There is a lakefront area in St.Cloud with an actual beach and water playground.
We will have that small town feel.
We will be much closer to our babysitters...my mother, father, and Angie.
We will be out of the Downtown Orlando traffic.
Jack doesn't need to where pants, shirts, socks or shoes...just a diaper is necessary in St.Cloud.
The mayor is a newly elected Democrat and mental health counselor...like us.
It's not in Texas.

Cons:

Orlando lacks culture but St. Cloud has never heard of it.
We will have that small town feel.
There are no museums that don't showcase Crackers (cowboys with whips...big in the area in the 1800's.
This is one of the main rodeo towns in the country...they actually have a day off of school called Rodeo Day.
There isn't a mall to walk Jack in.
There is only one movie theatre, showing one movie.

Overall, I'm excited about the move. Although I've always preferred the big city to the country. I love to visit the country though. I guess I'll just think of this as an extended visit.

Just Blogging Around

2006-06-26T12:53:00.000-04:00

The best part about finishing getting ready for an audit at my job is that I get to play around with my blog for an hour and figure out how to use html script. I probably could quit this job and get paid twice as much with what I learned in 1 hour by myself. This is especially disturbing considering, I have 60 thousand dollars of student loan debt outstanding, after nearly 4 years of post-graduate schooling. I should be a doctor or lawyer or an astronaut by now but instead I make diddly squat and I'm getting ready to start a business to work a great deal more and make slightly more than diddly squat.

This brings me to a soap box...warning I'm winding up for a rant if you didn't see it coming.

Okay, so I've never been motivated by money. It simply isn't what I'm all about. However, I like money. I like the comforts money can bring. The problem is I give meaning to life by things like helping others rather than selling things to others or providing consumer services or taking advantage of poor little old ladies. I've always been of the mindset that by working hard at what I think is important, helping children and families who are less fortunate, that I would simply not have to worry about money. I never cared about being wealthy or getting bunch of stuff but simply don't want to worry about the bills, whether or not I can by a new car, whether I should buy the Huggies or Publix brand diapers for my baby, you get the point. These days it seems you are either getting richer or poorer in the U.S.. Right now at least, I'm in the latter grouping. While I serve the less fortunate, I think I'm becoming one of them.

I feel like Andy Rooney on 60 minutes now. And, what's with all those sandwiches at 7-eleven. Every damn one of them has mayonaise on it. Does everyone like mayonaise except me. I don't think so. If I can't change anything that matters, maybe I should put my energy here. Everyone write your respective senators about the health effects of mayo...don't worry if your accurate, your bound to get some of it right. As everyone knows, mayo was created by the devil, or George Bush, I've forgotten which one.

More Sleep Dep and Baby Food Makeup?

2006-06-21T09:21:00.000-04:00

Jack woke up at 1:30am!!! Susie got up to feed him at around 2:30am. He went back to sleep but I just tossed and turned for 3 hours only to fall asleep 30 minutes before Jack woke up for good. I think Susie was awake too.

I got up and fed him another bottle while Susie tried to get an extra hour of sleep. Now I'm here at work, eyes drooping, with clients on their way. Susie's back home probably staring at Jack while he whines and fusses until his first nap of the day. I feel guilty leaving her there but lucky at the same time.

Honestly, I think we've both lost it. Yesterday, when I got home from work, Susie and I loaded Jack up to take a walk. We started out and we talked about our respective days. While Susie was talking and walking next to me, I turned and made eye contact. I started laughing hysterically and she did too not knowing why. One of her eyebrows was decked out in the most mysterious and trend setting colors I've seen this fashion season. It was orange. The same color as Jack's dinner. The funny thing is, it was perfectly covered as if she did it on purpose. I pictured her sitting there with Jack in his highchair attempting to feed him his dinner whilst he grabbed the spoon rubbing carrots all over himself and his chair. Suddenly, I envisioned Susie grabbing the little jar of mixed vegetables and declaring, "Well son, if you're not going to eat this I will find another use for it." Then, like a cut scene from Mommy Dearest, I picture Susie slowly smearing Gerber with her fingers on each of her brows. After, she grabs a different color for her lips, perhaps some apples and blueberries for dramatic effect.

Later, the same night, Susie and I watched QVC as two wonderful ladies sold Tova makeup products...one of which was Ms. Tova herself. We laughed hysterically once again as they kept putting the products on their cleavage no matter what the product was actually made for it seemed.

Sleep Deprivation can be quite funny until the next morning. Wonder what we'll do tonight? Perhaps we'll watch an episode of Benson and think it's hysterical or maybe we'll get up at 2am, go in Jack's room and cry until we eat some food and fill our underwear with pee? Oh, the possibilities.

My 1st Father's Day

2006-06-19T08:49:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was my first Father's Day of many to come. Jack started the morning off sleeping in until 6:30am. A rare treat which certainly did not go unnoticed. Jack (Susie) had laid out several presents for me to open in the living room. I opened them revealing 3 large pics of Jack nicely framed and one book, "The Poop Bomb". Then, Susie fed Jack his bottle, I loaded up the car with boxes full of things to move to our new house, and we left by 7:45am for St. Cloud.

By 8:15am we were sitting in a Village Inn a block from our new place with my mom and dad. After breakfast, we mosied on over to the new place. By 9:15am, all the boxes were in, my parents had seen our place. My dad had asked every conceivable question about the structure of the building, the burglar alarm system, and garage door opener. My mother had asked every conceivable question about the pool and foliage in the community. Then Jack christened the living room with a "poo bomb". Hastily, Susie and I decided it was time to leave. My dad received his gigantic, black and white picture of Jack and Jack was loaded into the car with his Grammy Valium and Grampoppy.

Susie and I sped away at 124 miles per hour headed to Universal Studios as we had a free pass and I found out I was still paying monthly payments of $15 for a yearly pass. By 10:30am we met our friends Stef and Jason at the park. By noon, I had finally consumed an imported beer and suddenly realized how great our freedom for the day was. It rained on us but we didn't care the least bit.

After several rides, 3pm snuck up on us quickly and we returned home. Jack arrived with his Grammy Valium in tow after visiting his great grandparents in Kissimmee all day and screaming at heavy mascara laden old ladies with bluish hair.

A great Father's Day was over by 9:30pm, as the Raskin Household was exhausted and asleep.

The Frogpond Wizard

2006-06-08T09:46:00.000-04:00

The story goes something like this...

Once upon a time there was little boy named Jack who loved to take a bath but hated to get out of the bath. Every day upon getting out of the bath, the rosie cheeked, blonde haired baby boy would break down into tears. One day, while getting out of the bath, Jack discovered the magical Frog Pond Wizard cape which he thought resembled a plain old baby towel but clearly it was a cape. While trying the cape on, mysterious music began to play as if coming from his father's mouth; his father denies he had anything to do with it to this very day. "Frog pond wizard, frog pond wizard", repeated over and over again while the cape was adorned by young Jack.

No longer feeling like Jack, the boy who hated to get out of the bath, the Frog Pond Wizard flew around the house making magic happen around every corner, in every room. The first time he discovered his powers, he turned lights off in the very room his mother resided in. He made his mother laugh until she decided to make attempts at giving him hugs. Then he disappeared around corners, in dirty clothes hampers and simply vanished into thin air while his mother chased after him. The Frog Pond Wizard laughed hysterically while eluding his mother. She laughed too as she thought the young wizard was quite funny and very cute.

Then it was time to lie on the changing table and get ready for bed. The Frog Pond Wizard's strength grew weary at this point as he began crying hysterically. Having used all of his energy creating magic and mayhem around the house and making his mother laugh, the wizard was simply exhausted.

The wizard's guru-to-be, Daddy God Wizard King, offered his young apprentice a magic wand. While the wand resembled a baby brush with a big lady bug on the end of it, the guru insisted it was a magic wand indeed and, alas, it was. The Frog Pond Wizard was given the wand with instructions for a magic spell of how to get into his PJs without crying. The young Frog Pond Wizard waved his wand hastily and said the spell as he heard it, "Mamama, dadadadad, blllleeeehh, daaaat".

Suddenly, Jack found himself ready for bed and in his mother's arms eating his final bottle of the day. Rubbing his eyes, Jack fell asleep only to dream of his magical cape and wand, and his adventures to come as the great Frog Pond Wizard.

More Teeth & A Laugh Attack

2006-06-05T08:20:00.000-04:00

Jack continues to fuss. Once again the weekend was a challenge as Jack doesn't seem content to do any one thing for more than 15 minutes. In fact, if in the house, he doesn't ever seem content these days it seems. We think he is teething again as he is chewing and drooling on everything. I personally think he's turning into The Fly and is simply wetting his pray with saliva before attempting to devour it. He hasn't mastered the devouring part yet but the saliva part is all but perfected.

This weekend Susie had a cold and Jack decided to start getting up at 4am. This meant I got up at 4am. Yesterday, he ate a bottle at 5:30am, we went to a park at 6:45am, walked about a mile and a half to Target, which was still closed. Then we waited outside only to finally get in by 8am, ate a bottle, shopped for clothes as he is finally growing out of all of the free baby shower clothes we received, walked home in the hot, hot sun all by 9:45am. Then Jack preceded to take a nap, his second already by that point. Then he woke up only to be cranky all day with one more nap somewhere wedged in there, a swim, and a walk around the complex. Just before bedtime, Jack broke into the most hysterical laugh attack I have ever seen. It started when Susie and I were watching him in his walker and talking. I had just cracked open a beer to cope with the end of the day and played beer trumpet by blowing into the bottle. Jack laughed and I did it again. This time he gut laughed hysterically. This went on for about 25 minutes as he continued to laugh non-stop and I blew in the bottle while Susie got it all on video.

Thanks Jack for ending the day on a good note as these weekends have not been very easy lately but a good laugh certainly helps. Note to self: play bottle trumpet all weekend long next weekend.

On The Move

2006-06-02T11:27:00.000-04:00

We found a place to live, in St. Cloud. I never thought I would live in St. Cloud, or a small town, or anywhere more conservative than Orlando again after my experience living in good ole' Houston, Texas. Well, so much for my ability to see the future. We found a 3-Bedroom, 2 story condo near the turnpike and about 2 miles from our soon to be new business. It is about the same distance for me to my current job which is about a 35 minute commute.

Here's a rendering of our new place:

We will be in the middle unit as there are 3. It has a two car garage, overlooks a swamp with creatures and wonderful flora galore, a huge kitchen with lots of counter space for me to destory in my cooking rampages, tons of storage space, 21/2 bathrooms, washer and dryer, but, best of all, the third bedroom will be Jack's very own playroom. This means all of his stuff can be in a place other than under our beds, behind things, on top of things, etc...

So, we're excited and happy that we don't have to worry about where we'll be living in a month!

A Four Day Weekend Hi"jack"ed

2006-05-30T11:32:00.000-04:00

The boy's still got it! Just when he begins to overwhelm you with cuteness, he reminds you of his powers. The weekend was rrrrrufffff, to say the least. This in part due to the fact that we have become creatures of habit. Suddenly, our carefully designed schedule was thrown out of whack leaving us with 4 incredibly hot days, no babysitters available, and Jack. This means we were limited to being in our house, going to the mall, very early morning outings, museums, and the pool.

Aside, walking around a museum, with a baby spitting up on you, after sitting outside waiting for it to open in sweltering heat and humidity, ultimately results in lack of appreciation for the art inside. Jack liked it. He seemed to like anything this weekend that did not involve sitting and relaxing or us sleeping through the night.

Yesterday he had an "aha" moment...he suddenly realized that making us pick things up that he drops is fun...good timing Jack...push us to our limits and then toy with us. This is why you have earned the nickname "The Sultan".

Our New Business

2006-05-25T10:31:00.000-04:00

Many of you have heard, Susie and I are planning to start a business as soon as possible. Originally we planned to be up and running right before Jack was born. Then, it was as soon as things settle down and get a bit easier. That of course didn't happen until about 4 months. Then, it was as soon as the "monster" is taken care of. Well, finally, it feels like we are ready to begin. Unfortunately, school is now out. So, the plan is to have the program up and running by August when school starts again. For those of you that don't know, we are planning to start with a rudimentary tutoring service and grow into a full blown counseling center with academic services as well. The hope is to eventually quit our current jobs, provide private counseling services, and hire teachers to work as tutors in our tutoring services.

Here is a link to a prototype webpage for our program: http://www.geocities.com/raskincounselor/homeworkclub

Take a look if you have the chance...we welcome feedback and suggestions with regard to the webpage and program itself as this will be helpful in understanding what may need to be clarified, changed, added, or deleted altogether.

The Monster Eludes Us

2006-05-24T13:12:00.000-04:00

Great news: The monster is hibernating or at the very least not getting any bigger or, even better, may not be there at all!!!

Jack saw the neurologist today. We set out this morning at around 8:45, about an hour before the appointment. We arrived in the waiting room which was familiar this time and less scary, for me at least. Surrounded by children living with and surviving such things as head traumas, brain disorders, unknown problems, and so on, we watched Beauty and The Beast until being called back to the examining room.

Last night and today, I was worried. Flipping through worst case scenarios as not to totally fall apart in the off chance we were handed bad news today, I felt exhausted. Over the past several days, I hardly thought about it at all. But NeuroEve and NeuroDay are a whole different ballgame.

Anyway, we got in to see the nurse first and she examined Jack briefly asking us some basic questions while flipping through his chart and MRI results with a very serious look on her face. Then she smiled and commented on the extreme cuteness of our baby. Then she left and Susie and I played catch with Jack. He laughed hysterically as we waited. It was all I could do to keep from jumping out of my skin. Waiting....ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Trumble walked in and commented on how it definitely didn't sound like a sick baby was in the room. Somehow this was a relief even though he had said nothing yet about Jack's status. Then he asked if the nurse had mentioned that the MRI came back looking good. We said she had not said anything. He then said that it had indeed. Before he could speak, I interupted and I asked what exactly this meant, as if he wasn't going to say anything else and leave. He went into a quick discussion about the prognosis and process of forming an opinion. Basically, he said the following:

First, we were attempting to diagnosis with the first CT scan and MRI in February.

Next, we were attempting to confirm stability (no growth of the cyst or brain damage/developmental problems) with this MRI and follow up.

Now, we wait 3 months and do another MRI to check that there is continued stability.

Then, we do yet another MRI 6 months from then, then 12 months from there, and 24 months from there.

This basically means, we will be monitoring him for the next 45 months or nearly 4 more years. He will be almost 5 before he is considered to be in the clear, even though this will never be absolute.

If at that point there has been no change in the area that appears to be a cyst, it will be assumed that there may not be a cyst there at all and, in fact, just a space left by an abnormally shaped right parietal region of the brain. This would essentially mean nothing, according to Trumble, in that many people have brain disparities from the norm in shape and size and don't even know it. Further, because he was born with such a disparity, it is, according to Trumble, going to have a zero effect on development or ability as the rest of the brain will compensate fully for any inability of the right side to perform, if this is even the case.

If there is a change in the space above the right parietal region of the brain, then this would mean there is a cyst and that we may need to consider operating but not definitively still.

Essentially, barring going into Jack's head, there is no way to know for sure if there is a fluid filled cyst in the space indicated on the MRI or simply nothing but space above his brain due to a mishapen brain.

Monster or no monster at the end of this book...still to be determined.

I have added pages from the Grover book about "The Monster" to all of my past entries about Jack's Monster...more to come but that's all for now. Flip back through my past entries if you want to see my favorite book about a puppet that some would say has similar coping skills to myself...Susie!

The Mountain

2006-05-22T08:06:00.000-04:00

Really, it's not so bad, waiting. The first time we took Jack in for his MRI we didn't know the extent as to what they would find. In fact, all we knew was there was a growth of some sort. We certainly had know idea as to the prognosis. This time was very different.

We arrived at the hospital at around 7:15. At this point, we have the hospital down pretty good. We don't need to ask where anything is or ask about protocols any longer. So, we went straight to the financial department to take care of billing and check-in. Within 10 minutes we were off to radiology, our 3rd visit in about 4 months.

A large flat screen t.v. was showing the old Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. We sat down to watch and wait. Susie indicated she didn't remember the movie and seemed excited to watch. Jack, on the other hand, prefered to stare at the people filtering in so early in the morning. Surgeons, nurses, patients, and their entourages flittered by, moving to and from unknown places. One particular boy caught Jack's attention for a few minutes as he crawled around on the floor playing with the toys.

At some point, Susie indicated she wasn't feeling so good. She stated that her fingers were numb and she had the chills a bit. I looked at her and noticed she looked pale and it dawned on me that she hadn't eaten before we left. I suggested she might need some sugar or something, knowing that she tends to get a little queezy when she hasn't eaten. She seemed to indicate that she didn't think that was it but didn't dismiss it totally at the same time. At this point, it was around 7:45am and our appointment wasn't for another 45 minutes.

We continued watching the movie. Jack bounced around on my lap while the increasing number of hospital empoyees stared, waved, and smiled at him. Occasionally, someone would talk to him while walking by. Susie was shaking like a leaf at this point. I started to get worried. She had never had any physical reactions to stress that I knew of, much less witnessed. I asked the nurses at the front desk for a blanket and they quickly brought one. Jack continued to seem fine and I attempted to divert his attention from his mother who was quickly seeming worse and worse. I felt the need to pretend everything was normal and decided not to show an ounce of concern, at least when he was looking at me.

After about 15 more minutes, Susie decided to get some food and sugar from the cafeteria. While she was gone, which seemed like forever, Jack's crawling friend had slowly progressed into a gutteral cry not unlike the cry I remember Jack doing before the "time we don't speak of" stopped about 4 months ago, a.k.a. colic hell. The parents of the child were walking around, rocking him, and attempting to soothe him through talking. However, nothing seemed to work, also painfully familiar. I wondered why they were sharing the waiting room with us? What were they getting checked out? Was the boy okay? I did know that they too could not feed their baby boy as we were unable to do with Jack. It is incredibly frustrating to know your baby is hungry, have food for him, have the means to give it to him, but simply not be able to do to waiting. This is precisely what I think purgatory would be like if it were real...The Davinci Code II to follow.

Jack and I moved to the floor to play with the toys. By the way, Jack was incredibly easy the entire morning. He played, talked, smiled and played some more. A nurse appeared indicating to myself and the other family that things were running a bit behind due to an intensive care unit MRI emergency. She added that each appointment was running 30 minutes behind. We all figured out from her comments that Jack was next and then the screaming baby. Things became a tad uncomfortable as the other family indicated that they didn't know what to do. The nurse suggested they take a walk to calm their baby. Suddenly, 8 months of stupid suggestions from people that don't know what to say flashed before my eyes. The parents of the crying baby quickly but unaggressively stated that they were beyond the point of walking help. They reminded the nurse of the fact that their baby hadn't eaten in over 9 hours and added that he typically eats every 3 hours. The father of the baby stood up with his son and began walking...seemingly just to get away from the nurse. As if unable to recognize that she was not helping or able to help, which probably would have been helpful in and of itself to acknowledge at this point, she then offered to take the baby and give the parents a break. Now, I ask you, what parent with their baby screaming, getting ready to go through what amounts to a very emotionally difficult procedure to witness, and all of the problems associated with the reason you are there in the first place, would hand their baby to a stranger?! Needless to say, the father and mother, in unison, indicated that they did not need her help and she finally walked away, looking confused.

I wanted to offer our spot as Jack was still maintaining so well. However, I knew that he could fall apart at anytime. Plus, I didn't know what was happening to my wife who was still gone. I told the mother of the screaming child that I wanted to offer our space but discussed our situation. She quickly indicated she understood and then jumped at the chance to have a set of ears. She launched into their story from the time their baby was born to the present. Their baby was diagnosed with spina bifida at birth. After several intitial procedures, they were discharged from the hospital after over a week of monitoring. They saw a specialist doctor who ordered a follow up MRI within 2 months, however, the MRI appointments at the very hospital we were sitting in were so backed up that they were forced to take an appointment some 5 months later. This resulted in the baby having symptoms and irreversible damage due to the 3 month lag that could have been caught and prevented if checked within the suggested 2 month time. She then discussed what the baby had gone through, while I knew full well what this meant she and her husband had gone through having experienced a taste of the horror myself. While having this conversation, I watched preemie babies file in to be checked, some of which probably didn't make it through that night . I saw numberous children with head traumas carted by on stretchers. I also saw our very own neurologist, Dr. Trumble walk by apparently working with the ICU patient that was currently receiving an MRI. He smiled at me but didn't seem to remember me. It didn't matter...I could tell he cared by the look in his eyes.

At around 8:25am, Susie returned. She looked even worse. She was registering a 7 on the richter scale at this point and looked white as Jack's bum. She told me she had vomitted on the way back. The nurse called us back right as she returned. Holding Jack, who was still smiling away by the way, I told the nurse about my concern for Susie who was trying to keep up and stay wrapped in the hospital blanket. I continued to try to keep Jack from noticing my concern for Susie and decided not to face him towards her as I didn't want him to notice her state. The nurses grabbed more blankets for Susie as they "ooed" and "awwwed" over the cuteness of our little boy. I swear, his cuteness seems to get us extra attention sometimes as people marvel over his big blue eyes and charming little 8-toothed smiles. As my Aunt Krazie says, "pretty is as pretty does" and pretty is doing pretty good for us right now.

Within, 15 minutes, we met with the anesthesiologist, were briefed on side effects, dangers, and the overall procedure. Everyone was very appropriate. Susie continued to shake and I had become much more worried about her than Jack at this point. The nurses took Susie's blood pressure and deemed it within the normal range. They suggested she may have succumb to a virus. Then they moved in for Jack indicating they were ready to move along with the MRI as the trauma patient had been moved out. I handed him over and turned to Susie. While last time, I did a similar thing, it was to look at her for emotional support. This time, I looked at her out of worry about her. Suddenly I realized I had just handed Jack over. I shouted back to the nurse, "wait, stop, hold on just a second". I caught back up to them and kissed him on his forehead and told him to hurry up. Then I turned back to Susie who had just realized Jack was headed out, she broke down into a much deserved and needed cry. I asked for a stretcher or something for her to lay on which a nurse brought in. Susie curled up and began to fall asleep until, within 2 minutes, she was told we couldn't stay and would need to move back to the waiting room.

Back in the waiting room...the room had filled up with patients. Kids needing MRI and CT scans were everywhere. The majority of those in the room were minorities which I wondered about. Susie, wrapped in 3 blankets sat, head against the wall in a chair trying to sleep. Kids ran around, playing and fighting, while parents looked tired, trying to coral them and sometimes just letting them do whatever they wanted. I stood in the middle of it all as if at the top of a mountain watching a town below. The back door to the room Jack was in was within 10 feet of me. Above it, a sign that lights up read, "Do Not Enter, XRAY In Use".

I stood there, my senses hightening with every minute. I swear, I heard every kids conversation, every adult conversation, every nurse apology that it was taking so long, every sound of discomfort Susie made, every clicking noise made by the XRAY In Use signs above the rooms Jack was not in, all while Finding Nemo played behind me.

After about 45 minutes, I took notice of the fact that I hadn't heard the sign click above the door Jack was in. While I wasn't staring at it by any means, I felt like it simply hadn't come on. I felt like something wasn't right. Susie stood up and went to the bathroom to seemingly get sick again. I continued to stand. She returned and the light above Jack's door clicked on. I wanted to run in but simply stood there. I felt like I was guarding Queen Elizabeth or something of the sort. It had become very surreal at this point. I began troubleshooting how to get Susie to the ER and take care of Jack in the case he wasn't doing well after the MRI. I decided to call home whereas I asked my mother to meet us at home in case I needed her. She agreed without asking a great deal of questions. I felt like everything was going to work out fine but still watched Susie, growing more and more concerned.

After about an hour, a nurse called for us. While walking back with him, Susie following wrapped in blankets, I told him of my concerns regarding her again and the need for monitoring of her. He expressed concern and agreed to pay attention to her. He then indicated that Jack had been given an extra dose of anesthesia while in the MRI do to the fact that he awoke right at the beginning and ripped the IV out of his hand. This was cause for a new IV and a delay in the overall procedure. We arrived in the receiving room where Jack slept. His mouth open, laying on his back, breathing with an oxygen tube and monitors attached to his chest and arms running to machines everywhere. The nurse standing by him said, he's fine but suggested he would sleep for awhile in all likelihood due to extra doses of anesthesia needed to put him back under. I was quiet, watching Susie shake. I prepared Jack's bottle for when he finally awoke. Then our nurse from the pre-MRI check in peaked in and said something (I can't remember what) really loud. Jack's eyes opened and I rushed over smiling and kissing his head. He squinted and I expected maybe he would go back asleep but he stared at me instead seemingly trying to focus. He talked, "ba, ba" which this weekend we decided may be an attempt at saying bottle. I picked him up, wires and all. Susie stood up and smiled at him and then crouched trying not to get sick. I sat down and began to feed him as he lay wide awake sucking away.

After 20 more minutes, while I fed him and the nurse freed him of wires, tape and cleaned his blood covered hand from where the IV ripped out, we were told we were free to go. Jack was wide awake and his normal self before we even left the waiting room much to my surprise and seemingly even more surprising to the nurses. I was proud of my baby who was making it easier for his mother who needed desperately to go to bed.

Home we went. My mom arrived after Susie was in the bed and Jack was eating his bottle of formula...he only had Pedialyte at the hospital. She stayed watch over Susie while Jack and I went for a long walk.

By 8pm Susie was almost back to normal. I had finally come down from the mountain as the Queen was safe and Jack was asleep, safe and sound, in his crib.

Time to wait for the next appointment. Wednesday we go to Dr. Trumble to get the next set of plans. Waiting is easier when you know what's in there. We will either find out that the cyst is larger causing pressure on the brain and we need to commence with surgery, the cyst is not causing any pressure on the brain and we will need to wait, or some other scenario which I have grown to expect as nothing seems to go as expected these days.

Jack Update

2006-05-20T11:44:00.000-04:00

Thought I would quickly let everyone know, Jack is doing great following the MRI! He's so brave. Details of the day to follow as it was still very dramatic of course. Today we plan to crash a Lisa Loeb concert at Lake Eola so I've gotta go. Jack's in his Led Zeppelin onesie and we are bringing cherry tomatoes for him to bombard her with. I can't even remember the one song she sang. Oh well.

Some Good News

2006-05-18T08:02:00.000-04:00

Well, we are officially 24hrs. from the "procedure". Yesterday, Jack got some very good news. Instead of his appointment occuring tomorrow at 2pm resulting in him having to fast all day until it is done, we were bumped up due to a cancellation, to early morning. This essentially means Jack won't have to fast at all. He will simply sleep through the night, wake up, and go get his MRI. After that, let the feast begin!!!

Nice to have a positive spin on all of this for a change. After next Wednesdays appointment, we should know the latest in terms of treatment, prognosis, and where we will go from here...hopefully nowhere! However, we won't know anything until then. We promise to let everyone know as soon as we do.

Some of the Places I've Been and Things I Have Seen...Thus Far

2006-05-16T09:37:00.000-04:00

I decided to make a list of the places I've been so I can reminisce as I long for travel...I plan to continually add to this list...adding places I forgot that I've been as well as new places I go. I didn't realize how many places I've gone until I did this. I guess I'm pretty damn lucky!

St.Thomas, Virgin Islands

San Juan, Puerto Rico

Port Au Prince, Haiti

Uffizi Gallery in Florence, Italy

Rodin Museum, Philadelphia, PA

Orsay Museum, Paris, France

The MET in New York City

Zermatt, Switzerland

Yosemite National Park

The Taj Mahal

Sienna, Italy

Pushkar, India

Paris

The Painted Desert

Milan, Italy

The Louvre in Paris

London

The Amber Fort in Jaipur, India

Oahu, Hawaii

Greve In Chianti, Italy

The Grand Canyon

Florence, Italy

Diamond Head in Hawaii

Dharamsala, India at the Foothills of the Himalayas

Dehli, India

Rome

Amsterdam

The Keys

Sun Devil Stadium in Phoenix, AZ

Carlsbad Caverns

Hollywood

The Redwood National Forest

Las Vegas, Nevada

Tims Ford State Park, Tennessee

Wekiva Springs, Florida

Washington D.C.

Blue Springs, Florida

Atlanta, Georgia

Wonder Cave in Tennessee

The Riverwalk in San Antonio, TX

The Alamo in San Antonio, TX

Sun Studios in Memphis, TN

Philadelphia, PA

Nashville

Memphis

Jack Daniel's Distillery in Lynchburg, TN

Chattanooga, TN

Worldsfair in Knoxville, TN

Houston

Galveston, TX

Foster Falls in Tennessee

Fall Creek Falls in Tennessee

Dallas

Amarillo, TX

New Orleans

Baton Rouge

Mother's Day 2006

2006-05-15T08:00:00.000-04:00

Well Mother's Day came and went yesterday. Here's how we celebrated...Jack and I woke up early letting mom sleep in (Jack's idea). We got all of her little presents together and finished writing her cards (Jack drew a picture of his mother giving birth--abstract). Mom woke up to breakfast...homemade waffles and turkey bacon with flowers picked from the garden (all Jack's idea). Mom woke up and ate food, opened gifts and read her cards. Then we packed the car, headed for Kissimmee, and met up with my mother and father for a walk in the park. Then, we met up with other extended family where we abandoned Jack in Raskin Chaos (the only way to describe what happens when more than 3 Raskins enter the same dwelling). Susie and went to eat and looked for houses in St.Cloud. Then we picked up the boy, drove home, went swimming in the pool, and alas, put the baby to bed. Susie had a foot massage with foot lotion picked out by Jack. Happy Mother's Day Sue!

Mother's Day has become a sort of Thanksgiving for me it seems. I found myself feeling thankful for all the mothers in my life and the mother figures.

Susie.

Jack is incredibly lucky to have this woman as his mother. She provides such a wonderfully kind spirit evident in the way she talks to him, holds him, and looks at him (even when he's screaming). This is part of the foundation that so many boys grow up without, that is, the ability to be consistent. She does a much better job of this than I do and Jack is all the better for it. Every morning, Susie sings Jack a song, "Good morning Jack, good morning Jack, good morning Jack, gooooood morning" and he smiles all the way through. Oh, and then there is the fact that she gave birth to our beautiful boy which alone is worth celebrating...in fact all women who have gone through this deserve to be worshipped on some very high level. Some day I hope to create a Taj Mahal in her honor but until then I simply will do a bunch of small things that tell her I love her.

My mother, aka Grammy Valium.

My mother is THE kindest person on the planet. She would never in her life knowingly hurt a soul. In fact, she constantly goes out of her way to help everyone she comes into contact with that needs help. This is a whole lot of people considering she owns a dance studio and has over 300 students. There is always someone living in her house, doing odd jobs for free classes, or simply reaping the benefits of such a wonderfully kind person. Often, I would say always, these people take more than is being offered but she keeps on giving and helping. This is likely why I am a counselor but more importantly it has a great deal to do with why I too care to help try and make the world a better place. My mother also has been invaluable during the past few months as Jack came out of "the period that we do not speak of". She has babysat countless times. She can't stand it when Jack cries and is excited every time she sees him and I know she was the same way with me as a baby. I have always felt loved by my mother as a result and this is invaluable to me and, of course, Jack.

Aunt Jane.

She has been more of a teacher than a mother by providing experiences to me and has done so with a great deal of laughter making me want to see everything she has put before me. She has made me feel invincible at times. She is responsible for my very large hubris/ego. Aunt Jane always told me that "your the best" or "your my favorite nephew". While I knew she told this to many, somehow, I still think that it's true. She is responsible for driving me from Orlando to Los Angeles and back in a motor home showing me that there is a great deal more to life than what exists in your backyard. Then she flew me to Italy showing me there not only is more that exists but that it is to be explore and celebrated. She has taught me the art of laughter and the importance of raising a family that laughs and travels together. I honestly can't say in words how indebted I am to her. She is one of my heroes on a very short list. She never had her own children which I think served me very well. I also got married to Susie in her backyard.

Kathryn.

I will always consider her my India Mother. She took me to India a few years back and gave me an experience that helped to anchor my values and belief systems. Basically, she helped me answer the question, "Who Am I?" and feel comfortable with saying, "I don't know", about a whole bunch of things, further giving me reason to learn about things and investigate before forming opinions. She helped me figure out what my experiences mean by giving me a framework to do so within. Basically, I learned what to do with what my mother and Aunt Jane gave me.

Dee.

Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of pictures or personal stories of this very influential mother. She is the mother of the my wife. The love she has for her daughter is clear each of the handful of times I have seen them together. She simply melts in Susie's presence. She has nothing but nice things to say to me whenever I see her both about me and Susie. Due to a recent move to North Carolina and life changing events for us and her, I have not seen Dee often and thus the limited picture selection. Hopefully, I will get to see my mother-in-law more over the years as she is clearly a wonderful woman as evidenced by her raising my favorite woman in the whole world. I hope that Jack can absorb some of whatever it was that she used to help create his mother.

Susie and Jack and The Return of the Monster

2006-05-08T08:34:00.000-04:00

It's almost time to check on the monster. Three months have past since we found out about the cyst residing in Jack's head. While it doesn't effect my day, I must admit, I do think of it everyday on numberous occasions when looking at him. It's almost time for the follow-up MRI and I'm not looking forward to it.

Jack has been doing great. He has somewhere around 7 teeth now, laughs hysterically all the time, says mama and dada, scoots but does not quite crawl yet (to our delight), eats Cheerios on his own, and sits around being extremely cute. No signs of the cyst other than the extra large noggin. The other night, however, while trying or not trying to fall asleep, depending on who's perception, Jack began banging his head on the side of the crib. The banging lasted for about 1 minute and was not very hard. Susie and I, of course, immediately began thinking, "oh no, what if it's brain damage". He stopped banging and we stopped ruminating. It is impossible not to think this way. In fact, I feel we would be neglectful not to think this way. We have not called our doctors, we have not researched the possibilities any further, we haven't even talked about it much other than the occasional dread related to the upcoming set of doctor's appointments.

Here's what will be happening: On May 19th, Jack will got to the hospital for an MRI with contrast. This means they will be knocking him out again, injecting dye into his brain to enhance the images, and putting him through the MRI machine. He cannot eat or drink anything the night before the procedure or the day of the procedure itself. Needless to say, it will not be an easy day for him. When the actual procedure is done, he will be taken from us for around 45 minutes and returned, likely unconscious. Then he will wake up to us in a tiny little recovery room where we will wait until the drugs wear off and feed him and finally go home.

Five days later, we meet with the neurologist to find out the results of the MRI. This is when we find out if the cyst has grown, shrunk, stayed the same, whether it is or is not having an effect on his brain, whether or not we will be doing brain surgery now or later or never or possibly that we will simply be following up with another MRI in a few more months. Best case scenario, the cyst sponaneously disappeared; worst case scenario, it has grown and is causing enough pressure on the brain to warrant surgery and drainage of the cyst and need for a shunt(an antiquated drainage device) to be placed in Jack's head, with likely further surgeries needed later in life due to the likelihood of the cyst returning.

As I already stated, Jack is doing great. At this point, if not for his rapid head growth over 3 months ago, we wouldn't even know there was a cyst in there. It's hard to take your well adjusted, normal developing, otherwise healthy, 8 month old baby to a place where they will drug him, expose him to heaps of radiation, and then return him with no concrete reason for doing all of this in the first place. Further, forcing him to fast will also seem cruel as a parent. However, I feel lucky that he is symptom free to date and we are taking him in like this rather than with fears of symptoms related to progressive brain damage.

Yesterday, Susie and I went to my sister's variety show. There, I ran into several people I hadn't seen more than once since Jack was born, none of which I know very well. Many of them said, "We haven't seen you in awhile...where have you been...how's Jack...didn't he have some sort of health issue with his head?" Nice. Well said. It's always a good idea to ask someone about an unknown health issue with their baby in a public gathering...especially when you don't know them well and have no idea if the issue is resolved or still ongoing. Susie and I didn't even tell them in the first place. I suppose they found out through the grapevine which is fine as you would think they would have the common sense not to ask about it, much less, ask about it in that sort of situation with the expectation that everythings all better. I suppose people just want to believe the best.

This is precisely why I blog about this...this and the fact that it is cathartic. If you are reading this, you are likely someone close enough to our family that we want you to know the status of Jack. Further, we know that you all are concerned and wondering where things are at with regard to the monster. Thanks for being sensitivity to Susie and I. Our family and friends, likely you if you're reading this, have done a great job of not asking and waiting for updates.

Immigrants (Know The Facts Before You Decide What You Think)

2006-05-01T08:25:00.000-04:00

What are all these protests about? Why are immigrants complaining? Shouldn't they just get a job? If they're illegal, shouldn't they just go home?

It is important to remember in navigating this debate that individuals who are impoverished or persecuted do not have viable ways of entering this country legally and therefore have had to come in illegally in order to eventually get legal status and escape the atrocities they are experiencing elsewhere.

Further, I'd like to preface all of this with the suggestion that immigration reform is indeed needed but this is not a humanitarian way to do it.

H.R. 4437 is a bill before the senate which is seeking to make immigration laws more strict than ever in U.S. history.

Here's why the current protest by immigrants are necessary and why I support them:

1) Prohibit Aid to Illegal Immigrants

The bill includes provisions that the prison term applicable to an illegal immigrant, would also be applicable to anyone who "knowingly aids or assists" that immigrant "to reenter the United States". While these clauses may be intended only to target smugglers, as written it includes any charity, church or neighbor of an illegal alien, who aids the illegal alien to remain in the U.S., for example by providing food, clothing or shelter.

This means that as a counselor, which I am, I could not provide any help to someone needing food, clothing, or shelter without the threat of prison for at least 3 years! Further, either could anyone else, including a church. This is immoral and inhumane at it's very core. If I see a homeless child, needing a place to live, food, or shoes...I'm helping! Not turning them in so they can be returned to another country where they have just escaped similar conditions. Interesting that the majority of supporters of this bill are right wing republicans who are also Christians. Since when is NOT helping thy neighbor Christian? Even Cardinal Roger Mahony of Los Angeles has instructed priests to disobey any law that outlaws humanitarian assistance to illegal immigrants if this bill does become a law.

2) The bill includes measures that will infringe on the human rights of asylum seekers by stripping important due process protections, criminalizing status over which they may have no control, and dramatically limiting their access to essential services. It would also redefine undocumented illegal immigrants as felons, and punish anyone guilty of providing them assistance. It also would create several new mandatory minimum penalties for a variety of offenses, including some that would expose humanitarian workers, public schoolteachers, church workers, and others whose only object is to provide relief and aid to five-year mandatory minimum prison sentences.

3) Housing of illegals will be considered a felony and subject to no less than 3 years in prison

This would mean that if a family moved here from Mexico, or Bosnia, or Sudan, due to extreme poverty, hunger, genocide, or any other reason one might come to the richest nation in the world, and they could not find a place to live, anyone offering them a place to live would be considered a felon. This will result in homeless men and women and children who have come to this country to escape hunger and poverty, in the case of Mexican immigrants, or in some cases oppression, war, etc, in the case of many other immigrants as this bill effects all immigrants, not just Mexicans.

4) The bill also increases penalties for employing illegal aliens to $7,500 for first time offenses, $15,000 for second offenses, and $40,000 for all subsequent offenses

This means that if an individual coming from Mexico wanted to work in order to feed their families, in a nation with plenty of money to drive SUV's with gas prices per gallon above an average Mexican workers weekly pay at a U.S. owned plant in Mexico, employers would be fined. Immigrants won't be able to work for legitimate employers but instead will look to crime and jobs offered by illegitimate businesses instead. Further endangering their families, their children, and you and I. Children of illegal immigrants, not only would be homeless, without counseling or available social services, they would be hungry too; it would be considered a felony to give someone of this status food. Not very Christian...not even civilized! Further, what about the woman who escapes being a sex slave brought here illegally by Eastern European mafia...hides from her captors and eventually assimilates into society albeit still being an illegal immigrant. How does this individual get help? Who does she go to? Can't tell a priest, can't tell a counselor, or a humantarian aid worker. That is what amnesty is for, to protect people from inhumane treatment.

5) It is proposed that a 700 mile wall be developed...Beginning in 1994, the Clinton administration implemented Operation Gatekeeper, a strategy of “control through deterrence” that involved constructing fences and militarizing the parts of the southern border that were the most easily traversed. Instead of deterring migrants, their entry choices were shifted to treacherous terrain—the deserts and mountains. The number of entries and apprehensions were not at all decreased, and the number of deaths due to dehydration and sunstroke in the summer or freezing in the winter dramatically surged. In 1994, fewer than 30 migrants died along the border; by 1998 the number was 147, in 2001, 387 deaths were counted, and this past fiscal year 451 died.

People will continue to attempt to come to the U.S. due to the extreme contrast in quality of life. Even more people would die while trying to escape extreme poverty in a country adjacent to the U.S. which, I might add, the U.S. continues to profit from through cheap labor, and cheap land/resources for outsourcing companies and jobs and exportation of goods and services.

6) Sets the minimum sentence for fraudulent documents at 10 years, fines, or both, with tougher sentencing in cases of aiding drug trafficking and terrorism.

People attempting to provide for their families, work, eat, and be safe in the U.S. would be considered felons receiving larger sentences at a minimum of 10 years...larger than those U.S. citizens committing, rape and murder. Further, I'm glad to see escaping oppression or extreme poverty by forging a green card is still being considered not quite as severe as drug trafficking and terrorism.

7) The bill also seeks to return all illegal immigrants to Mexico or wherever they may have come from regardless of what they may have been suffering from.
What? That would mean that families would be split up, people would return after 5, 10, 15 years to places where they have no jobs, food, and shelter. Children born in the U.S. with parents considered illegal would have to choose between taking their children back to nothing or leaving them behind. These are parents who simply wanted to provide for their families, attracted by the extreme wealth of the richest and most powerful nation in the world. Others would be returned to situations endangering them of the very things that they origanally left in the first place, like torture, enslavement, war, genocide, ethnocide, and so on.

I agree that immigration reform is necessary...there are many ways to make changes to immigration laws that do not contribute to inhumane treatment of women, men, and children. Further, this law needs to account for the sociopolitical factors which have created this problem. We profit off of the very same countries we are pushing away. Not necessarily in a political fashion, but definitely from a corporate standpoint. We place our corporations in these countries, pay low wages, strip them of need for their own products and ask them to stay and suffer the consequences. Even further, we advertise through television, movies, and other media everything that is great about America, everything that they cannot have, and then expect them not to come looking for it. In fact, I could go on about these in detail but would be surprised if most people that read this even make it this far. Most people simply don't care, and somehow have based their opinions simply on watching the news about latinos singing the national anthem in Spanish, or carrying Mexican flags, or simply showing people marching with no real explanation of the proposed legislation itself. As white middle class Americans, we don't necessarily do our research and are likely to form opinions without doing much work to get the facts at all.

Don't forget your families were all illegal immigrants once!!! That is what made this country. I implore you to read about the issues, to find out the facts, to read about alternative proposals to immigration policies, but most of all, not to form any opinions without knowing what the consequences of those opinions could be.

Tumbleweed

2006-04-20T08:41:00.000-04:00

Once again I have found a way to shorten a stay in yet another dwelling. Over the past 14 or 15 years I have moved several times. Ever since I moved into the college dorms back in 1991 in Tampa at USF I have averaged about one move every year.

The breakdown (where and why I moved):

1991 Moved to USF (to get an edubacation)
1992 Moved into different dorm (could not afford the expensive dorm any longer)
1993 Moved into seedy apartments in Tampa next to Nebraska Ave. (could not stand my fraternity crazed roomate any longer--gunshots every night were worth it)
1994 Moved to University Townhouse Apartments across from USF (wanted to live in an apartment that had a bar on the premises)
1995 Moved to studio apartment still in Tampa (left crazy girlfriend for new girlfriend)
1995 Moved to another apartment (ex-crazy girlfriend stalking us)
1996 Moved into townhouse with 4 other guys and lived on the floor (drunk)
1996 Moved into yet another apartment in Tampa with my roomate (still drunk)
1997 Moved to Orlando with my sister Sunny in the house she's still in (pursued Masters Degree--still a little drunk)
2002 Moved to Houston, Texas for a year in a house on the ocean (wanted to torture myself)
2003 Moved back to Orlando into my parents house (swam across the Gulf of Mexico to get away from George Bush and all of his friends in Houston)
2003 Moved into a house in Downtown Orlando (strategically aligning myself to collide with the love of my wife)
2004 Moved into an apartment where I would fall in love with, marry and conceive a baby with Susie (a.k.a. The Mayan Ruins)
2005 Moved into another apartment where Jack was born and I would have the most difficult year of my life (bringing us to the present)

2006 We now have to move in July because the owner of our complex is very wealthy and does not want the headache of two people complaining about a moldy apartment or their ceiling that creates it's own afternoon showers...she wrote us a letter indicating that she is sorry for what we have gone through, disowned any responsibility for what transpired, and told us our lease would not be renewed due to my using the "F" Bomb...in actuality, I just found out that the apartments we live in are going to turn condo anyway and no leases will be renewed. The woman just wanted to make us feel bad further bolstering my contention that she is simply MEAN!!! It's all for the best.

But, once again, I'm moving. A tumbleweed.

My New Favorite Picture

2006-04-20T08:27:00.000-04:00

This was shot last month at Jack's second wedding in a week. This is moments before his pants fell off.

The Pool and The Food

2006-04-19T12:19:00.000-04:00

This message is to officially announce....Jack is swimming! Well, at least he's getting in the pool. Everyday for about a week now, Jack goes for a swim at around 3:30. He loves playing on the ledge splashing around. After about 30 minutes, he then eats his dinner (solid foods) outside while drying off until going inside for a bath and then a bottle. This ends with him going to bed at or around 6pm. He usually wakes up a few times but fusses back to sleep all by himself typically waking at or around 6am. Then he goes in his swing while Susie and I attempt to squeeze in another hour of sleep.

Anyway, the boy is growing up and, I must say, has become very pleasant these days. Pictures of pool time to follow soon. He has also mastered the art of sitting, can eat Cheerios and mushy things off our plates, and seems to love to make us laugh with a fake cough which he finds hilarious. He also can apparently eat batteries or so he thinks...the other day Susie and I watched as he chewed on something while sitting in his walker. At some point Susie said, "what is he chewing on". I said, "I dunno", thinking nothing of it. Susie got up and moved in closer, "I think it's a...", I stood up and moved in as like a cat ready to pounce. Susie finished her sentence "...a battery!" Jack had figured out a way to open his a toy and pull a battery out and, of course, eat it. Susie worried he may have already swallowed one or two looked to see if the rest were still in the toy.

Jack's taking this solid thing way too far but for the most part it is going well. We love our boy!!!

Whatever Happened To Aunt Jane?

2006-04-17T10:32:00.000-04:00

CBS News Text Videos The Web

Home | U.S. | World | Politics | SciTech | Health | Entertainment

The Odd Truth, Apr. 18, 2006
NEW YORK, Apr. 18, 2006

Angry Woman Targets Lobster Divers

Miami, Fla. - A woman who was upset about lobster divers in the canal near her house, The Lindgren House, famed for Keith and Susie Raskin’s million dollar wedding in 2005, was arrested after allegedly shooting at them with a handgun. Jane Priscilla Pyle fired a shot near a pontoon boat Thursday as others warned divers participating in the state's annual two-day sport lobster hunt, witnesses told investigators.

No one was injured aside for a few innocent chickens and the crazed woman’s husband, Cornel Kramer. Kramer is recovering in a local hospital and has been informed he can go home but he insists upon staying saying only, “She’s crazy, you can’t make me go back, she’s crazy!”

In a telephone interview Saturday with The Associated Press, Pyle said she fired into the water and could see the bullet's downward path.

"That's my canal, and they have no business in there," an enraged Priscilla said. "They was taking the lobster, and we're not going to have no more lobsters."

Ms. Pyle, of an undisclosed, post-menopausal age, told police she had a .38-caliber handgun under her pillow. Officers confiscated the gun, a handheld flare gun and a BB gun.

She was charged Thursday with aggravated assault and discharging a firearm in public. She smiled for her mug shot (see picture above) which she also insisted include her cat and all of the books she owns because she wants to appear, “unignorant” to all of her students at Miami Dade where she has been teaching since 5 days after she was born. She spent the night in the Monroe County Jail and was released Friday.

A new county ordinance bars hunters from catching spiny lobsters within 300 feet of a residence outside the city of Key West. Pyle says she doesn’t care if she lives in another country from Key West, “stay away from my lobsters”. She added that she prefers if people refer to her as “Ant Crazie from the great Grundy County”. Then she spit in a can.

"People come from out of town and everything. It's just a big scam for the hotels to make money, and we have enough traffic down here as it is," she said. "I'm going to fight it to the doggone end." “I hate doctors, babies, doctors’ babies, and babies that are doctors in that order, oh, and lobster hunters”:

Jack and Tiffany and Easterly Comments

2006-04-17T08:23:00.000-04:00

Apparently Jack likes stained glass and especially giant cathedral sized stained glass. This weekend we wandered into a museum in Winter Park that had free admission due to it being Easter Sunday. Susie, Jack, and I, along with two friends, Stef and Jason, took Jack to see what was inside. We found a strange museum filled with a huge collection of stained glass on display. Jack decided to sing songs for each piece depending on how the colors and there meticulous arrangements inspired him. He developed a very gothic sounding song named, "I Got Your Ooooh and Your Ahhh Right Here Jesus!" while wandering through model chapel decorated with a glass chandelier created by Tiffany himself. Anyway, I guess Jack will like Europe so if anyone wants to purchase him a trip to Europe for his birthday I think he would like that, oh, and his parents would need to go along as chaperones as he is still very young and likely to get into trouble without us.

Side note regarding Easter, a.k.a. "Zombie Day", if I may borrow a phrase coined by one of my readers who will remain anonymous unless of course she chooses to claim it; I was reminded this weekend of the marginilizing powers of religion when I told the story of my early experiences with Catholicism and Judaism to our friends Stef and Jay. The story goes something like what follows:

At around 6 or 7 years of age, I would frequently attend Catholic church with my neighbor and his family, willingly! The reason I wanted to attend had very little to do with the entertaining services and everything to do with the free donuts immediately following services. Somehow this was worth the strange feelings of alienation provoked by sitting in the pews while "real" Catholics took communion. Often, my sister Sunny and I were left sitting in an aisle all alone like abandoned children by those "going to heaven". We knew that this had something to do with us not being Catholic, and, therefore, we were going to hell in everyone elses eyes. This never seemed to bother anyone in the church as no member of the church nor clergyman ever took the time out to either console or explain any of this to us. We just figured it out...we were doomed because our father was Jewish.

Meanwhile, my grandfather would ask my father if Sunny and I wanted to attend Temple services with him and my grandmother. My father would tell us that we were going without any choice in the matter and would then send us with our grandparents. The forcing was necessary as there were no donuts in Temple and I had to dawn a yamaka each and every time I went and was not going to go voluntarily, ever! At temple, Sunny and I were always the youngest in attendance by at least 40 years. Each and every time we went, I dreaded the inevitable comment that sounded something like this sarcastically toned, "Look at the cute little German kids", hands reaching out from all directions to pinch our cheeks and pat our bleach blonde heads or hold us like we were dolls from their childhood. Then someone in the crowd always said, "Is their mother Jewish or their father?", followed by sighs and coughs and an "oh well" when my grandparents disappointedly would respond, "their father". Suddenly, all eyes shifted to the Tora as we were no longer worthy of attention. Fact is we are part German on my mother's side and certainly not German Jew. I knew this meant we weren't Jewish and definitely not Catholic. I guess this is how the Unitarian Church was eventually formed...I don't think they serve donuts but I think you could bring your own and noone would mind.

I guess what I learned from all of this as a child is how to spell the words Yamaka, from Judaism, and Pew, from Catholicism. I looked them up to see if I spelled them correct and I did. Thanks priests and rabbis. However, I did not go to temple enough apparently to learn how to spell Tora correctly as it is Torah.

Note to Jack, "stay golden pony boy". It's gonna got a little weird. Maybe not just a little.

Happy 29th Birthday Susie Blue

2006-04-10T08:21:00.000-04:00

It ain't easy to plan a birthday celebration when Jack's around. The day before Susie's big day, Jack and I went to the mall. I had full intention of shopping for Susie. However, Jack decided not to nap all day and fuss everytime I stopped to look at anything. I ended up walking around the mall for several hours until Susie met us and finally, Jack fell asleep. By that time I had managed to buy Susie one gift, a Clinique gift set, which I would notice while walking with Susie would have come with a free gift if bought at Dillards rather than Macy's. It was too late as Jack had taken the wind out of my sails early on Saturday leaving me with no gusto for shopping later that evening.

Jack got his picture taken with the Easter Bunny, a scary one with big black eyes. The kid before him freaked out right before it was his turn and the parents had to turn back after waiting in line. Jack, however, smiled for his picture oblivious to the giant rabbit all together seemingly.

After Jack went to bed, it was off to get all the things I planned to get earlier in the day. At this point it was about 7:30pm. By 12am I was finally in bed, presents wrapped, yellow tulips scattered around the house, balloons taped to the walls, picnic foods and basket readied for travel, and cards written, including Jack's card to his mom written in grean beans.

Next morning Susie slept in whilst I fed the beast. She opened her presents from Jack first. He got her a...sippy cup (one for him and one for her even though I told him she had practically mastered drinking out of cups already), a Wolverine Pez dispenser (it's what he grabbed when I told him to pick something out for his mom), and a pair of swimming pants (so he won't pee on his mother in the pool as we plan to go for our first swim in the next week). From me Susie got an outfit from Express and the Clinique gift set, both of which must be returned...oh well. I wanted to get us plane tickets to Europe but held off due to the impending check-up on Jack's cyst next month.

After the gifts were all opened, it was time to get ready for our trip to Wekiwa State Park where I had a big picnic planned. From here the day went well. We sat with our feet, Jack's included, in the springs. We hiked down a trail through the woods. We had a picnic on a grassy slope with our birthday hats on while drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade. Then we went back down the trail while Jack took a nap and I attempted to light Susie's cake in the woods, on the ground, illegally, until a pack of wild hippies snuck up behind us and I was forced to have Susie blow the candles out before they were all lit as we didn't know the hippies were not Forest Police or Smokey The Bear.

The day was perfect as the weather was cool after the previous evening rain. The colors were extra vibrant as a result of the rain and made for a very pleasant picnic and hike. By the time we left, we were exhausted but had a great time on Jack and Susie's first trip to Wekiwa Springs, on Susie's 29th Birthday.